I have been passionate about books since I was a kid. Reading and writing were encouraged in my school. Our teachers came up with amazing assignments to develop our reading habit. After joining TAPMI, I have mostly given up on reading. But I am not worried, I will catch up on it once I leave. I have read less than 5 books in last 1.5 years (Summer project does not count... I had loads of spare time). Very few seem to hold my interest. I dont like Danielle Steele, Paul Coehlo, Sidney Sheldon, Jeffery Archer etc anymore. I am looking for a change...
Some books are good, some are nice and some devour you. They suck you into the pages. You forget everything around you... you try to feel what the character in the book is feeling... imagine yourself instead of him... I am reading "The Bridge Across Forever" by Richard Bach. He is one of my fav authors and never lets me down. I had first read this book in my 10th std when I was wondering about soul mates. Do they exist? How do you find them? Are they perfect? This book didnt give me answers, but it explained the questions. I am reading it again... No, no, I am not looking for answers.. this time I am not even asking the questions. Or am I?

Some of my fav lines from the book:

"Part of us is always an observer, and no matter what, it observes. It watches us. It does not care if we are happy or unhappy, if we are sick or well, if we live or die. Its only job is to sit there on our shoulder and pass judgement on whether we are worthwhile human beings."

"There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go."

"You're the cause of me-as-you-know-me. Nobody else in the world knows Richard that's in your life. No one else knows Leslie that's in mine"

"I thought about that day..... twenty years ago or yesterday?
What happens to time, in our minds?"

The most good/amazing/touching/fun moments in the past few days:

• Mail from an old acquaintance, with who I have barely chatted twice, apologising for wishing "Happy Diwali" a day late... Buddy, I was on your mind on Diwali??? Touching!!!
  

• A call from miles away inquiring if my bro is fine... the news of the chemical leak at Rajasthan had reached Himachal... Thanks...
  

• A1 and me requesting A2 to buy a wrapping paper so that we could wrap her B'day gift... Good you didnt buy it, we are too lazy to wrap it anyway...
  

• 3 girls + Roof top + Dinner + Lime soda + paan + KMC greens - Breeze = Almost perfect B'day ???
  

• P making me laugh with her "perfect" bio-data for me... Wish you could send that across to the crap matrimonial sites...
  

• My bro confiding in me... Last time you did that was when you wanted me to give your gf a call, since guys are not allowed to call at her house...
  

Ok... My sis is home and she is quite jobless... guess, what she is upto these days... making my boi-data.
Flashback: 6 months back:

Me: I dont want to get married... not yet... I mean, I cant even think about marriage; forget arranged marriage
P: I am not asking you to get married. It took mom n dad 3 years to find a guy for me. Let them just begin the process and then we will see.
Me: I dont believe in the concept of arranged marriage...
P: See, arranged marriage is not bad... If you do not find a guy, this is always an option
Me: I'd rather live alone... I dont have to get married
P: Thats what you are saying now... but things change.. what if you get tired of being alone? All I am saying is keep your options open... Trust me, nobody is going to force you into anything.. Ok? If you like someone, tell me... and I will take care of it... The pressure on mom n dad is mounting from relatives, society and crap... just let them start looking.. Ok?
Me: Ok... but only because you are asking me to

Today:

P: Hi... whats your height?
Me: 5'2"
P: Weight?
Me: Dont know... 50... 55? Are you making my bio-data?
P: Yes... what are your hobbies?
Me: singing, reading, skating, dancing, sports... everything... you name it, I know it... change my height to 5'4" and weight to 45 kgs...
Mom: What is Sushmita's height? 5'9"? Maybe, we should put that only.. right?
Me: hehehhehe....

I received the following bio-data in my mail: Interested candidates can apply... the words in italics are Sindhi slangs... dont try to figure them out....

Name: Bulbul Gopalani

Date of Birth: 11^th June, 1973

Sex: Female

Height: 5”

Weight: 90 Kgs

Education:

Up to Std X: Bogis High School, Mt. Abu

BE (2005): Bachelor of Idiotical Engineering, Ahmedabad

MBA: Sadal College, Karnataka (First in University)

Background: Bulbul is bogi, mogi, and chari. She has grown up in a tightly-knit nuclear family of five that respects cultural and religious values. Bulbul is very religious, and performs pooja ten times a day, five of which are in a Hindu temple. She enjoys singing, dancing, painting, acting, modeling, carpentry, reading, robotics, and astronomy. She may not necessarily be good in these, though. She is full of dignity, truth, and honesty.

SIBLING DETAILS

Sister’s Name: Pearl Manwani (MBA, married and settled in New York)

Background: Pearl is the epitome of intelligence and beauty, and is God’s gift to mankind. She complements Bulbul bogi in every way. Pearl has truly contributed to Kalyug’s human race with the goodness of her kind heart. She has greatly uplifted the standard of living of India’s poverty-stricken masses.

What we are looking for: We are seeking a boy with potential for being hen-pecked. We want someone who will dance to Bulbul’s tunes and put each paisa of his salary in her hand. Looks and good body extremely important (sinewy muscles a must), brains optional.

Hmm... Diwali is over... I spoke to my bro today when I came to know he couldnt go home because of IIT entrance preparation.

Me: Hi... Happy diwali. How was your day?
Him: Diwali is today? I thought it was yesterday. Mom and Dad also wished me today. Maybe it is today.
Me: P is not letting them call us. According to her, she should get their undivided attention... Anyway, what did you do today and yesterday?
Him: I woke up in the morning... studied.. had lunch... went out... had dinner... will study now. What about you?
Me: I watched a movie yesterday. Working on assignments today and tom.
Him: LOL... so, you are having a bad diwali too... good... we are sukh-dukh ke saathi
Me: Yeah... you can say that again. Did you burst crackers yesterday?
Him: I was in the hospital last night.
Me: What? What happened?
Him: We went for Diwali puja with this uncle to a chemical factory. There was Chlorine gas leak. We could smell it when we were leaving. We left in a car, so it was not that bad and went to the uncle's relative and a doctor checked us out. We were taken to the hospital and given oxygen masks. I returned in the morning. A reporter from Rajathan Patrika came to click our pictures. Apparently, 2 people died.
Me: What? Are you ok? Did you tell Mom?
Him: I dont want to trouble her. She will come here and I know she needs to be at home right now.
Me: What if something would have happened to you? How would we know? You should have told mom. I hope you are fine now.
Him: Yeah, yeah... I am fine. Dont worry
Me: Hey, forget about this diwali. I promise you the best diwali next year. We will blow up the house with crackers... Ok? I am waiting to see you this weekend.
Him: Blowing up the house is a bad idea... Mom will throw us out.
Me: Then we will bug Mom and Dad...
Him: Maybe... but when we meet, I will bug you... you are the shortest among the 3 of us. Hehehhe. You have to respect us.
Me: You both bug me since we were kids... I am used to it by now... anyway, take care... and do tell Mom about this... she will murder you for keeping it from her. You could have told dad atleast, he is a doctor after all
Him: I am fine... and I will tell mom later. If you mention this to her, you are gone.
Me: I promise I will not tell her anything. Dont worry

When did my bro grow up? When did he mature so much? N I have been cribbing about being alone. I am glad he is fine... but the thought of him being alone in the hospital is killing... I mean, none of us can see him sad or down... When he had joined the hostel with me, he would cry out of home-sickness.. I was supposed to console him, but seeing him like upset me so much; even I would burst into tears. I have never been a good elder sis.
Alls well that ends well.

A lot of my guy friends complain...
"You girls only want to take advantage of guys and bitch about them. We do have feelings... but you only walk all over them. We chase and chase and do everything a woman could ever want and yet, it is not enough. What do women want?"

Hmm... What do women want? I dont know... I really dont know. Let me explain:

Men fall in love faster than women and they get out of it faster... For a man, when it is over... it is over... but for a woman, nothing is ever over... Men walk out of a relationship based on reasons like: career, family, distance. And then they dont look back. I am not bitching about men. Thats the way they are... and now (after personal experience and others experience), women have accepted that men are like that and there is nothing we can do about it.
This is how it usually goes:

Guy looks at a pretty female... and falls in love. After that, his day begins and ends with her thoughts. He would willingly give up his life for one look from her. Friends, family, career, gym.. everything is out of the picture. She is the center of his universe. He will do anything, absolutely anything to impress her, to make her life easier... to get noticed.
Girl knows what he is feeling... she can see it and she loves the attention. But she is pretending not to notice.... not because of her ego or anything.... but she is weighing him all the time. Will he be able to fulfill her needs? How long is his attention span going to last? If she reciprocates, will he lose interest? Answering all these questions need time and careful observation. She takes her own time... Finally, when she is as sure as she can be... she reciprocates.
Guy is happy... cannot believe his fortune. He worships her all the more now. Everything is perfect.
Girl starts opening up to him... being herself. She can show her dark side... her real self. Her life revolves around him... everything about him is perfect.
Life goes on smoothly... Guy starts seeing her faults, but that is ok. He isnt perfect either. But he knows he has floored her, she is impressed with him and completely in love... and it is great. But what next? Where do they go from here? The chase is over... now what should he do? He had never thought about the relationship part while chasing her. He only wanted her, and now he has her... but what is he supposed to do with her now?
Everything goes downhill from here. He wants space... she wants to get closer. He doesnt have time for a relationship anymore... and he walks out... just like that.... one fine day. Excuses could be anything. Maybe he has a genuine family issue and it will never work out.
The girl is left wondering how someone who you love so much can just walk out... What happened? Who went wrong?
Its not over yet... after all this, the guy insists on being friends like nothing happened.
The girl wants to murder him for this. How is she expected to forget the pain and all the moments spent with him? Wont he be reminded of them everytime he looks at her or talks to her? She cries and mops around... Since she is the victim, everyone sympathises with her.
The guy is wondering why she is creating such a hue and cry. He has his own reasons. He loves her too and it is hard for him too. Just because he does not start crying at the drop of a hat, does not mean he has no feelings.

See, how different men and women are? The only option is to accept them the way they are. I dont have any answer as to how to keep men interested... or even if it is worth it. My advice is:

Take the leap, but dont lose your head. If you lose your head, dont cry if he leaves. If you cry, there are lesser chances he will come back. If he does not come back, be grateful... If he does, forgive him.

I watched Don... no, I am not going to think about it... I cannot talk about it, because then I will think about it... And I do not want to recall the traumatic experience... Damn, I am still thinking about it... I might as well write the review.

Warning: I will reveal the suspense. If you want to undergo the trauma of watching it, avoid this post.

Hmm... Where do I start? Have you seen Big B's Don? I have not... I am glad I have not... I would have cried otherwise. People love Shahrukh, but can anyone compare him to Big B? No matter how Big shahrukh is, Big B is a class apart. Dont believe me??? Just watch the new "Don" and you will know. Thankfully, the movie has not given him scope for over-acting, so we are spared that torture... The movie is full of twists and turns... too many of them. Let me just list down what I liked and what I disliked:

LIKES:

• Chunkey Pandey has a cameo role. I have liked him since I was a kid... it is always a pleasure to see him on screen....


• Boman Irani, as always, has stolen the show. These days people will go watch a movie if it stars him. One good actor... He has even side-lined shahrukh in the movie.


• The costumes have been designed by Aki Narula and they are too damn good. I am tired of seeing Manish Malhotra designs (even though I think they are great) in most of the movies. I wish more designers were roped in for movies... after all, what better place to showcase them and set trends?


• Songs are good... not that gr8, but they reminded me of old Don's songs and it is always amazing to hear them.


• It is good to watch a movie in which women are not the victims... liked Priyanka's role... she getting better with each movie

DISLIKES:

• Shahrukh... he does not suit the role, at all. I was reminded of Big B all along... even Abhishek would have done a better job


• Too many twists and turns, most of which were completely unnecessary


• If shahrukh was the don, why was he doing all the dirty jobs himself? What happened to his side-kicks? What happened to delegation of responsibility?


• Om Puri has gained too much weight.


• Ok.. everything was crap.

Suspense: Don was Vijay all along. He had killed Vijay in the beginning itself.

So, it is A1's B'day soon. A2 and I have been brain-storming on what to get her.

Me: How about shoes? She loves shoes
A1: She just bought new ones
Me: Skirts? She has a weakness for them
A1: Umm... she has loads already
Me: How about speakers for her laptop?
A1: Just 'coz you like speakers does not mean everyone else likes them too.
Me: How can anyone not want speakers? I will ask her discretely
A1: Lets get her a belt... a huge one..
Me: Ms. Fashion Designer, we have to get a gift for her; not for you. Waise, when is her b'day?
A1: Dont know... I think 2 more weeks to go
Me: Hmm.... No problem. I will definitely receive a b'day reminder or check it on orkut... warna, uski roomie jab cake layegi, we will know. We are so smart... hehhehehhee.

Yesterday, we decided we would get her something... but what? Finally, we thought we would leave the ball in her court.

Me: Ok mam... what do you want for your b'day? Do you want shoes?
A2: No
Me: Skirt?
A2: No
Me: Speakers?
A2: No
Me: A1's wierd belt?
A2: No
Me: Then what?
A2: I dont know... lemme think

But, God of Shopholics came to our rescue. A2 could not resist buying another pair of shoes...

Aah, women and shoes have such a deep bond. Have you ever been to a shop and the stuff there has made you go weak in your knees... you want to stay there forever? I feel like that (and most of the women do) when I see pretty and dainty shoes... with heels and straps...

I love window shopping.... There was a time when Honey and I went to this really posh shop called Kenzer at A'bad. It is quite expensive and the collection is damn good. I just needed to purchase a top which I had already selected... but I needed someone else's stamp of approval (women tend to get others stamp of approval while purchasing something... ).
Honey: Look at those pretty skirts... I wish I could wear those. But I hate my legs
Me: Try them on... what if they look good? You can buy them
Honey: hmmm... ok

We went on a trial spree... tried on almost everything... It felt good... and nope, we didnt purchase anything except the pre-selected top.

Thats why women prefer shopping with women... only a woman can understand... will a man ever sit patiently and appriase every top the lady is going to try on when she has no intention of buying it? Nope... never...

I had been waiting for the day to begin, because that would be the first step towards its end.

7-9 am: Distribution mgmt case analysis and presentation preparation
10:20 am-1:00 pm: Classes
1:00-3:30 pm: Study for supply chain mgmt quiz
3:50-6:30 pm: Classes
6:30-7:30 pm: Look for research paper for presentation on Tuesday.

Me: Finally... finally.... this day is over.... we are free, even if for one day.
A1: yeah... after that we have more assignments to work on
Me: lets do something tonight...
A2: What?
Me: Movie? We have to buy diyas also... and sweets.

So, after a lot of cribbing, fighting, tears, home-sickness... we have decided to celebrate Diwali as best as we can with our "temporary" family (as A1 calls us)... We were dressed to kill, but had nowhere special to go.... bought chocolates, sweets, diyas and crackers... munched on them at KMC greens, watched the fire-crackers and talked about good times... We have not done something like this in a long time. It felt good.... so, life is not perfect, but then it doesnt have to be. We have to make the best of what we have.
After a long time, I dressed well... on normal days; I couldnt care less about my clothes. I am not here to impress anyone... The worst clothes are placed at the top in my wardrobe...
I tried calling all my friends today, but couldnt catch hold of any... everyone is home. There isnt anyone online....
Chalo... not a problem... Happy Diwali!!!

I want to crib, crib and crib...
Mom: why havent you called? dont you know pearl is home? u could have called.
me: sorry, mommy... i have a quiz today. I was busy studying yesterday... I was going to call
P: Hi, buzzy lady. Now we need appointment to even talk to you.
Me (almost in tears): C'mon... dont say that... How is home? What are you having for lunch?
P: mom... what are we having for lunch?
Mom: arre... you girls can discuss nonsense later... hang up, she has to go to coll

Yep, she is home and I cannot meet her.
Me: Hi, morning... I want to go home
R: Umm... morning... its morning already? Then go home
Me: i cant
R: Yeah... yeah.. sorry, I am a little woozy this early in the morning. C'mon, baby.... you know you cannot go home. Make alternate plans for diwali...
Me: I hate to be alone for diwali... even you will be gone
R: hmm... you can get drunk and high and enjoy urself
Me: YOU are asking me to drink? No, no... no booze. I will spend money, get high and then cry and I cannot even call you...
R: you can dope... you wont realise a thing for 3 days
Me: are you outta your mind? You are asking me to dope and drink
R: Thats 'coz I know you wont do it. Why dont use crackers to hurt those assholes in your coll?
Me: wow... thats such a good idea. You have started thinking like me... good... good

I have been cribbing all day... I know I cannot go home... but I really really want to... After my sis got married (4 years back) , this is the first the entire family will get together and enjoy. Sure, they will come to meet me... but it is not the same as being home. I am a complete kid when she is around... I become a child and after she left, that part of me has gone. Thats the saddest part when people you love part.... you lose a part of yourself. We are different with different people... I miss myself... and I am craving to find myself, atleast for sometime. The fact that someone else is making the decisions about my life is very frustrating.
Sure, student body and welfare com are making plans for the frustrated souls... but... I am doubtful... very doubtful.

Then:

Me: Why are you not taking my call?
R: I dont feel like it
Me: whats that supposed to mean?
R: I dont feel like talking right now
Me: why not? why dont you tell me whats bothering you?
R: there is no point... I am busy
Me: stop lying... I just dont get it... why dont you talk to me?
R: I dont want to discuss anything
Me: tom you will say "I dont want to meet you"
R: I dont know about tom
Me: thats the point... I hate you.... go f*** yourself

Now:

Me: why are you not taking my call?
R: I asked you not to call me for atleast 2 days
Me: why not? I want to talk to you... too bad, I am addicted....
R: I must appreciate your persistence
Me: Thanks... So, whats wrong?
R: I dont want to talk about it
Me: Ok.... you have 2 options: dont talk to me or talk to me.
If you dont talk to me, I will resent it, nothing will get resolved... when you want to talk again, I will hold a grudge... we will fight again and it will go downhill from there.
If you talk to me, I will know exactly what is bothering you... we will discuss it and find a middle path more or less acceptable to both of us... and resolve the issue...
The decision is upto you... but do keep in mind the consequences. You will be the only one responsible for them.
You there???
R: Yes... Lady, you are one smart ass....
Me: Me??? C'mon, I am innocent. I was just being my same-old-practical self
R: Damn... I was soo soo soo mad at you... and now I am not
Me: Yippie!!!

Have I evolved?

In our MIP (Management in practice) phase 4, we have to write a case. Usually, B-schools have summer projects, but we have MIP. In the first phase, we visit the company, interact with managers, learn about and observe the organization for a week. Our projects may or may not be discussed at that stage. This is in October. Our summers begin in mid-April. We keep in touch with the organization during these months. Phase 2 is the summer project. It lasts for 8 weeks and since we know the people working there, too much time is not wasted in getting familiar with them. The 3rd phase is project presentation and report writing in college. 4th phase is case writing. I dont remember how many cases I have analysed (or rather no of cases whose analysis I have attended in class) in the last 1.5 yrs; but I have never written (or even attempted to) write one. We were all flabbergasted when we were asked to write a case and a teaching note (it is the note which contains the analysis and the discussion that should occur in class). I had not heard of a teaching note until then. I thought the faculty came up with such amazing analysis on their own.
There have been groans of "Par, main kya likhu??"... "case kaise likhte hai?"... "analysis kaise karu?"... "I worked on the field and didnt interact with anyone in the organization... how do I identify a problem?"...
We all have been allotted guides. Sometimes guides provide direction, at other times they dont... some give good grades, others dont. For the presentations, groups under 3 guides were integrated. Ours is the only group which was given a proper schedule for discussions. I was a little sceptical about them. But we actually enjoyed it. While writing the case, I had an objective in mind and a plan of how the discussion would lead... but it went completely hay wire. I was given suggestions based on which I have to modify my case. The same thing happened with the others... but the discussions were fun...
I realised how we are always being pushed harder and harder to reach the level of perfection. Sometimes, the measures taken are stern, but it makes us work. We try to reach where we have never tread before...

Yippie!!! My sis has arrived in India... but she did not call me. Right now she is at her sasuraal and all puffed up with anger and hurt, I gave her a call.
Me: Hello, can I speak to Pearl?
P: Speaking... who is this?
Me: You... mgb (our sindhi slangs... cannot put them here)... you called every person on this planet and told them about your arrival... but u did not call me
P: yeah, I know... i dont care about u... thats why you are not coming home to meet me... we have to come to meet you
Me: c'mon... i begged and begged but did not get the persmission...
P: anyway... i think you will incur a huge bill. We will come to meet you soon. Then you will inflate the bill by 200% and ask dad for money
Me: that is true. I will tell them that you kept on talking and wouldnt stop. It cost me 500 bucks...
P: hahahahha... I will call you when I get home
Me: ok... bye.

Usually when people come to know I can cook, their reaction is "U can cook!!!"... umm, yep I can cook. I am very independent... so, I do not expect anyone to cook for me... But this is how I learned to cook.
Mommy: Every girl should be able to cook.
P: why?
Mommy: you will have to cook for your hubby someday
P: what if he can cook? we can always employ a maid
Mommy: the taste of the food cooked by you is different... maids will not be able to cook ghar ka khana....
P: that is ok.. we will order from outside
Mommy: look, as a mother it is my respnsibility to teach you to cook.... after marriage, if u dont want to cook... it is upto you
P: i hate to cook

Hmm... I smelled opportunity.... if i wanted to get into Mommy's good books... cooking was the way to go. My sis started coaching me. Initially, she was very pleased. All the dirty work was given to me... she hated to make chappatis.. so, I was made to do it. A scene from those days:
Me: how big should i cut the aloos?
P: make them big enough...
Me: big enough for you or for me?
P: what?
Me: I mean... we both a different definition of "big enough". what if i think they are "big enough" but u dont think so?
P: you are so so so irritating
Me: yeah... I know... hehehhehe. How much salt should I add?
P: use ur instinct
me: what? tell me the exact amount.... in spoons
P: make that 2 spoons
me: which spoon should i use, this big one or smaller one or this smallest one.
P: mommy... take her away... she is so so so irritating. I dont have the patience to teach her.

Well, despite all the barriers.. I learned to cook. My parents have had to eat a lot of bad chappatis, salty veg, burned papads... but they have always been supportive.... specially Dad:
Me: dad, how is the food?
Dad: it is good
Me (tasting it): but the veg is a little too salty
dad: yeah, but that is ok. I m sure next time you will add less salt
me: i m not sure this is completely edible
dad: no no... it is ok
me: you want me to cook something else?
dad: no no .... it is ok. i will have milk
me: sure? i can make something
dad: na na... it is ok
me: wat do u want me to cook for lunch tom?
dad: why dont you ask the maid to cook till mom is out? less work for you
me: but i like to cook... and i dont have anything else to do anyway... i dont cook well, right? (in tears now)
dad: not at all, u r a fabulous cook. and these things happen... that is how you learn. cook your fav veg macaroni for me tom... ok?
me: yippie!!!

During my hostel days... I would hang out at Harry's place... she had to cook dinner since both her parents are working and usually come home late.
Me: hey Harry.. let me cook. I have not eaten mere haath ka khana in quite sometime
Harry: cool with me... go ahead
So, I would cook pulav and her family loved it. This is what here sis khushi had to say
K: hey, bul.. why dont you come home everyday?
Me: want me to cook for you, huh? you mean, selfish b****
K: hehehehehe
Me: dont forget.. i could add anything in your food... dont piss me off

I miss home...

Lappie in coma

So, my lappie has gone for repairs... they will cost me a bomb but I am extending my warranty... after this, I will not be spending on any repairs for the next 2 years. This is what Kadu had to say when I told him all that happened:

" feel like kicking your ass, real hard

Why didnt you take back-up? I am used to taking back-ups every 3 months, besides, i also keep a back-up in my room-mates' lappies. Another back-up has been left at home comp and yet another with R.

No in one monmet you cant loose it all. You will have to weave a complex web (...common you are used to doing that...) such that no mater how many calamities come simultaneous or frequently, something is left behind.

Its like keeping a lot of cash in seven differnet pockets to keep it from getting stolen on a mumbai-local. Yes it all sounds like gyaan, but even if now on you be careful, it will help you in the long run."

Yeah, stupid stupid me... but last year, I had saved all my photos on a cd. One fine day I was browsing through them in the morning. When I checked them out again in the evening, one folder was missing. I had not saved it on my desktop or even mailed them to my friends. The folder was just gone... into thin air. I lost all faith in cds after that... so, I have not taken back up.

I was thinking of all the items gone and how I will get them back:

• Photos: I have uploaded most of them on yahoo photos... in the past few months, I have been regularly mailing them to lolo... so, this should not be a problem. Will get all of them back.
• Songs: I have back up of all the hindi songs... but the latest ones are lost. My collection of around 2000 english songs is gone. It will require a lot of effort borrowing them from people... but it is manageable. This time I will organize them in proper folders.
• Software: This will have to be downloaded from the net. Not a big problem...
• TAPMI folder: This is the most imp folder that I have lost. It contained my research paper... cvs... important docs... summer project report and data. I think I might have back ups of some of them in gmail somewhere... but I will have rummage through around 500 mails and check them out.

But this gives me a chance to begin all over again. I still remember the first time I touched my lappie. I had taken it to Bug' s house and slowly and steadily with fingers shaking with anticipation we peeled off the covers. After that every night (we had exams going on during the day) was spent with the lappie... we visited restraunts with wifi and sipped one cup of coffee for hrs while downloading... I remember one incident. We downloaded scrabble... and then played it for hrs at home. We cheated in every game and won it... We were so proud of ourselves...

I guess, it is time to let go.. to move on. Maybe this happened for a reason... I have to move away from one bank to reach the other bank... I have been floating in the middle for quite sometime now and finally, it is over... even the memories are gone. It is time for a fresh start... and it should reflect my new life... Hmm.... interesting. I am right... everything happens for a reason and we know the answer to our "Why me?" only after it is over... then all the pieces fall into place.

Hey.... I had a terrible, terrible day and it is still going on.

• I finally finished writing a decent case, but the Prof suggested more changes. Will have to be up tonight and finish it
• My friend ditched me and when I got irritated, he said "stop overreacting"
• My lappie crashed. I might need to get the hard disk replaced which will cost me 3500 bucks and I will lose all my data
• I cannot go home to meet my sis... at best, mom and sis will come here to meet me
• I think my dad is preparing my bio-data and will put it on some crap matrimonial site.

OK, I am going to crib and crib and crib. I wanted to burst into tears when I saw the state my lappie is in. It is my bestest friend in TAPMI... my communication window to the "outside world"... my means of keeping in touch with my best friends... the only reason I love my room so much... it holds my secrets... I cant imagine surviving for a day without it. Sob... Sob...

Latest at TAPMI:

Even though we have 3 days off, nobody can go home for Diwali. Dont ask why... "You are not to ask why, you are to do and die"... I am happy... yes, I am sadistic...

If people go home... 3-4 of us will be left in the hostel on Diwali... we will either watch a movie or they will go for party while I will watch a movie alone... while the rest of the junta gets to spend their Diwali in the comforts of home with their loved ones... while my family will miss me at home and wonder why I could not come.

But then what is worse... not being able to go home 'coz it is 26 hrs away or even though it is 10 hrs away? I think it is the latter... so, I guess I am not happy. Nobody deserves this...

Last year, during Diwali, a party was held at a hotel at Malpe beach. First, we burst crackers on the terrace and then there was a booze party. Since this isnt my idea of Diwali... I sat at the beach and looked at the waves.... It was beautiful, but I was relieved to be back in my room.

I have always been with my family on Diwali... if I could not go home, they would come to the hostel and stay for a day or two. This is how we celebrate Diwali at home:

Diwali begins with cleaning the house. It begins a month earlier. I partake in the cleaning by staying away from it... Mommy's orders. Mommy loves to do things on her own... I think I have inherited that trait. Snacks are prepared... again, I help out... with the eating. A week before, we start lighting diyas. One diya is placed in each room and a few outside. This is usually my responsibility. We purchase the tiklis and rolls. My bro and I burst them all day.... with our feet, hands, on the wall, on the ground. One or 2 days before diwali, we purchase crackers. I love snakes... my dad likes big colorful bombs, mommy likes the sar (I dont know what it is called in english), sis likes rockets, bro likes to fool around and pretend to be brave.

4th day is the New year. In gujarat, new year begins during Diwali. We visit friends' houses. What I like about this day is: you cannot refuse any snack offered... you have to go and meet all your friends and even enemies.

5th day is Bhai Duj. The sister is supposed to invite her bro for lunch at home and he has to gift her something. For me, everyday is bhai duj (except the gift receiving part).... I cook for my bro everyday and he still cribs.

Hmm... I miss home. I just needed a shoulder to cry on and someone to hug.... but well, this distance is killing me. On some rare days, when everything seems to go wrong... thats when you actually realise how lonely you are... how you just need a friend... someone who will sympathise and not laugh it off... there are such people, but they are far far away.

OK, bahut hua. I cannot crib and cry anymore.... I am bored now. A change of mood is required now. I need to thank a few people who have been absolute sweethearts today:

H- Yeah.. yeah... he did listen to my cribbing and crying. Thanks yaar.

T- Major thanks to him. Right now, my lappie is with him and he is trying permutations and combinations to get it in working condition. Even if he does not succeed, I am grateful for the effort he is making. He is a techie and loves his pc... so, I trust him with my lappie... I know he will treat it well.

Here is a situation:

It is a beautiful morning and you have been working on your assignment since 6 am. When you are fianlly done, you leap out of your (study) bed and rush towards your bucket. Now you can finally take that bath... but before that, you really have to brush your teeth. Even you can smell your mouth. But guess what; you are out of toothpaste and your rommie is out, so you cannot borrow hers. You have been postponing this purchase for days now. No more. You decide to go to the campus stores and buy it now itself. You get dressed and are about to leave, when you realise you have no money. Thankfully, the ATM is in the campus itself. You are walking towards the ATM. As you are about to reach, you remove your ATM card and it slips from your hand and falls into the gutter below. The gutter is covered with concrete. There are slits at intervals but they are too small for you to put your hand through and remove the card. You think of applying for a new ATM card but that could take ages since you stay in a hostel far far away from home. Your local bank is in a village and is not connected through the network to the rest of India; which means your Dad will have to get you a new card.

What do you do: try and remove the card from the gutter (options: break the concrete with your head or pray for a miracle to happen)
OR
try and get a new ATM card (your Dad will have to get it which means all his doubts about your stupidity will be confirmed).

You can generate your options too... lack of information cannot be used as an excuse. This is all there is to it.... Please give practical and feasible options... extra points for creativity.

This is how my conversation went yesterday:

R: Hi. What are you specialising in?
Me: Marketing
R: And?
Me: Core marketing. You have taken core HR.. right?
R: Yeah
Me: I just realised how every subject is inter-linked. It begins with the consumer (consumer behavior), if it is an industrial good (b2b marketing), the strategy is different... services are provided for all products (services marketing)... the channel is created depending on the consumer behavior (distribution mgmt)... products are sold in retail outlets (retail mgmt)... brands are launched by companies (brand mgmt) which is done based on market research data (advanced marketing research). If even one course is not taken, there is a break in the chain. Thats why I have taken up all marketing courses. It will give me the entire perspective and better understanding about every aspect related to marketing.
R: I totally agree with you.

Good morning. I am not usually chirpy in the mornings unless I have been active as soon I wake up. Doing something productive puts me in a good mood. This was how a conversation went last night:

Lolo: Hey, you should have fasted today.
Me: What? Me and fast? Why?
Lolo: Today is Karvachaud. It would have given our relationship an ethnic touch.
Me: Lol (Laugh out loud) *blush blush* How sweet. But I hate to tell you this: Rash just came to my room with the last pieces of cake. I scrapped the cream from the box with the cake and am balancing one piece in each hand, stuffing both pieces in my mouth at the same time and trying to type this message on the keyboard...

Fasts are so-not-me and this is how I found that out:

In Gujarat, all the umarried girls (even kids) fast for their to-be-hubby for 5 days in a year. The occasion is called Gauri vrat (vrat means fast). If it is strictly done for 5 yrs at a stretch, the girl is assured a good husband. When I was in the 7th std, for the first time I was staying at home with my parents. Mommy wanted me to fast (I think she doubts my ability to find a good hubby). Obedient that I was (yeah, then I was obedient), I agreed. The fast is very strict, we are not allowed to eat grains (no pulses or rice or wheat), no vegetables also. We end up eating and drinking sweet foods like milk,fruits, dry fruits etc. Too much sweet stuff makes me want to throw up.
On the first day of the fast, mommy had to go to A'bad. She was supposed to return late at night and had prepared cold coffee that I could have after I returned from school. She had packed seera for school. Seera is usually made out of atta, which cannot be eaten. But mommy had given me sabu daane ka seera in which atta is not added. My friends in school did not know this and advised me against eating it. When I returned from school, I forgot about the cold coffee and stayed hungry all day. I was hungry and slept off by the time mommy returned home. This is what happened at night:
Me (screaming in my sleep): It is running away... wait, stop, stop running... dont run away
Mommy (waking me): Wake up, wake up... what happened? Who is running away?
Me (waking up): Oh, I was dreaming. I dreamed that the potatoes (I am potato lover) and chappattis were running away. I was chasing them... but the roti kept rolling away (I had read a comic when I was in 5th std in which there was a roti rolling away)
Mommy got a scolding from dad for making me fast. Mommy cooked potatoes veg and chappattis and fed me at night.
After this incident, I have not been asked to fast again.

Staying hungry is a very traumatic experience for me.

I was brain-storming with Rami few hours back. He is participating in a competition called Mindbenders in which he has to come up with a new product in the hair-care, skin-care or body-care segment. Since I have worked as a sales consultant at Oriflame Cosmetics for a year and am well aware about the products in these segments, he wanted me to help him generate options. It was a lot of fun actually and brought back memories of my Oriflame days. My mom's sis was a consultant for Oriflame and was looking for a consultant in A'bad and well, who better than me? Joining it costs very little... training is provided... and staying in a girls' hostel was the biggest advantage. I liked the work... the products are good.. damn good... they are priced higher than the rest of the brands, but they are worth every buck. I would browse through the catalog for hours and familiarise myself with each product. Apart from earning 20% commission on every product I sold, I received free gifts if I met the monthly targets. In my 3rd month, I gifted my Mom's bro a cologne worth 1000 bucks (which I got free)... It was a proud moment. Slowly and steadily, more consultants joined under me. I earned enough to pay my celphone bills. I had bought the phone from the money I earned after working at a call centre for a month. I had to pay for the orders with cash and I received the money from the customers after I had delivered the products. My biggest support in this was Bug who always loaned me money to place the orders... and he did not expect anything in return... instead, his mom and sis would also place large orders. The day I brought the products, everyone in the hostel would crowd around me and check out each item one-by-one. Everyone would gasp with delight while all the items were scrutinised and criticised. I would then deliver to the respective owners. The best part was trying to sell these products. Anyone in the vicinity was a prospective customer... be it male, female or even a kid. I spared nobody... This reminds me of another event. The environmental engg dept was celebrating World Ozone Day. We had organized quiz, poster-making and paper presentation competition in college. I was responsible for registering students. The tickets were free and I did not understand why people were not insterested... I mean; nobody was going to attend classes anyway... why not participate in the quiz? I approached everybody in college for participation... I used every tactic I knew... sweet talk, flirting, bribing, threatening... and guess what??? It worked... we had the largest turnout ever. I had even stalked some people... they would run away at the sight of me. For the poster-making, I had begged Bug to participate. Poor guy could not say "no"; even though he has nil artistic temperament. The theme was related to Environment. He had drawn stick people (people who are sticks). It is the funniest poster... ever. My Mam found it very funny and was very impressed with him. She was trying hard to flirt with him and get his attention. It took all my will-power not to scratch her eyes out. Yeah, I miss Oriflame... I think I might join it again.

Yes.. Yes... I took the plunge. I watched the much criticised movie... KANK. Well, I hate to admit it but I liked it (except the last part). Here is why:

Dev:
A happy man who loved football... that was his life and passion. Intially, he resented the fact that his wife kept busy; but football kept him happy and alive. Then he lost it all... He hated everyone, he was angry all the time, he lost a part of himself... Even his son didnt live up to his expectations. He didnt know what to do... He had changed and nothing, absolutely nothing made him happy. He didnt love his wife anymore... she didnt understand him... she was too busy... He hated the fact that she earned more than him. Bascially, he was a failure.

Maya:
Hmm... one confused female. She had 2 roads: one that led towards compromise and another towards endless wait. Being practical and sensible, she chose the former... She had nothing in common with her hubby... to the point that she was not even attracted to him. She felt trapped and didnt know how to leave...

Rhea:
Beautiful, smart, ambitious, confident... the man in the family. She loved her family but had her priorities all wrong. She didnt understand the change in her hubby and by the time she did notice it; it was too late. She loved him immensely but a relationship cannot survive on love alone. It needs to be given time... and time was what she didnt have.

Rishi:
He was completely crazy about his wife; but he didnt understand her. It wasnt his fault, they were too different and even though he kept trying hard... it wasnt working. Something was missing somewhere and he couldnt figure out what it was. Maybe a baby would have bridged the gap, but that wasnt happening. He liked to have fun and party while his wife liked to talk (minus the sweet talk). He didnt understand her loneliness.

I loved the fact that there is so much gray in the movie... boundaries between right and wrong are so blurred. Is it wrong to live in that moment even though you know it will hurt some one very close to you? Is it wrong to be happy at the cost of somone else? Cheating is wrong... and no excuse is good enough to justify it. I liked that Rhea and Rishi walk out on their spouses. My fav part is when Maya and Dev dont get together... how can they? Their relationship was born out of lies and betrayal. I hated the end... life is not that simple... thankfully.

Yep, I appreciate Karan Johar for having made this movie. I like it and I love the songs...

This is how my conversation went yesterday:

R: Hi, I need your help.
Me: Sure, bolo.
R: We need someone to edit the compendium for blah blah blah. Will you do it?
Me: Sure...
R: You will receive due acknowledgement
Me: Cool
R: But then you are so gr8, acknowledging you for something this minor work will be like insulting you... so, no acknowledgement
Me: Ok, no problem. I will still do it.
R: Why?
Me: because I like the work... I am not doing it for credit but for the work
R: Do you always work for the sake of working?
Me: Only for the kind of work I enjoy doing... I dont give a damn about the credit then.
R: Hmm... During the placements, we will all know who gives a damn about what
Me: Very true
R: We may say these things now, but when a company (which we do not want to get into right now) pays us a bomb, our principles will go down the drain.... I am even talking about myself here.
Me: I am pretty sure about myself... but you are right... We never know. There will be people who will crib even if they get a good job, some who will flaunt their good jobs in front of the less fortunate, some who will too happy to have been placed at all (like me), some who will pretend to not care (when they will be happiest ones), some who will not be happy and some who will be indifferent (they dont plan to stick around in the company for very long anyway).

This is the story about 2 people: X and Y. Both are equally talented in almost the same fields.
X is modest and works because he likes the work. He does not care about credit. He is nice to talk to and is appreciated by most of the people. Some people to try to use his innocence and talent. He is not very good with deadlines but his work is good. I will not call his work perfect, but he has a passion for it and puts his heart into it. He goes out of his way to help people sometimes. I will not call him the most reliable soul, though.
Y meets deadlines and works well. He is a professional who delivers... but he comes at a price; a huge price. He will charge you for every sentence he utters. He tries to sell his work to everyone. He is very good at manipulating people and has an enormous ego. His work is usually perfect.

Which of the above 2 people would you like to work with personally?
Which of them do you think will be more successful professionally?

The other day I had Brand Mgmt exam. This excerpt is from the article called "The Brand Report Card" by Kevin Lane Keller.

Maintaining a strong brand means striking the right balance between continuity in marketing activities and the kind of change needed to stay relevant. By continuity, I mean the brand's image doesnt get muddled or lost in a cacophony of marketing efforts that confuse customers by sending conflicting messages.
Just such a fate befell Michelob brand. In the 1970s, Michelob ran ads featuring successful young professionals that confidently proclaimed, "Where you're going, it's Michelob". The company's next ad campaign trumpeted, "Weekends were made for Michelob". Later, in an attempt to bolster sagging sales, the theme was switched to "Put a little weekend in your week". In the mid-1980s, managers launched a campaign telling consumers that "The night belongs to Michelob". Then in 1994 we were told, "Some days are better than others" which went on to explain that "A special day requires a special beer". That slogan was subsequently changed to "Some days were made for Michelob".
Pity the poor consumers. Previous advertising campaigns simply required that they look at their calenders or out a window to decide whether it is the right time to drink Michelob; by the mid-1990s, they had to figure out exactly what kind of day they were having as well. After receiving so many different messages, consumers could hardly be blamed if they had no idea when they were supposed to drink the beer. Predictably, the sales suffered.

Umm.. with all due respect to Mr. Keller: Are consumers' choices affected by the ads to that extent that they need to be told when they are supposed to drink beer? Sure, ads have an impact... but this is going too far. If I was a consumer of Michelob; after reading this I would have stopped drinking it, because I am being considered stupid here. I have to be told when I should drink the beer.
But then again, the ads have been changing...
"Where you're going, it's Michelob"
Hmm... so, anytime and anywhere is the right time to drink this beer. I dont need to look for an occasion.
"Weekends were made for Michelob"
Hmm... I should drink this beer only on weekends. On weekdays, I can have some other brand of beer. As a consumer, I would think of this beer only on weekends since the ad says so.
"Put a little weekend in your week"
Hmm... weekend means fun... I can drink this beer even on weekdays and I would feel like it is the weekend. This brand of beer = fun = weekend = weekday....
"Some days are better than others"
Hmm... Better days = this brand of beer
"A special day requires a special beer"
Hmm... So now I am supposed to drink it only on special days. I would not think about it unless there is some special day.

Ok, now it makes sense... but could these ads have affected the sales so much that the sales dropped from 8.1 million to 1.8 million? As a brand manager, I think I would have attributed this decrease to other factors... sure, inconsistent advertising would be one of those factors; but not the only major factor.

I just spoke to one of my best friends... the conversation is as follows:
Me: Hi.
Her: Hi. Thanks for mentioning me on your blog.... You are such b****. My name comes last??? Even my sis's name featured before me. How long have you known her? Now I have to compete with her?
Me: I am so sorry, but I wasnt thinking like that. She is sweet and she makes me laugh. But you are the one with depth. I have written a poem on you... I cant imagine writing one on her.
Her: That is true... Fine, you are forgiven.
Me: Thank you and as penance, I will put that poem on my blog to declare my love for you... even though it is damn kiddish.
Her: Yeah, do that.

So, here it is... for one of my best friends...

A Refreshing Breeze

You have come into my life like a breeze,
refreshed me by your company,
the darkness by your glow has ceased,
you sure are very funny.

When sad times hit me,
unknowingly you steadied me by your care,
you didnt even charge a fee,
towards me you have always been fair.

I cant bridge the gap between us,
even if I try to do it,
it's because I make a lot of fuss,
whenever I fall in a pit.

You dont know what you are,
or what you mean to me,
from me you remain very far,
though friends we can be.

Dont try to figure out what exactly I mean... only I know that... and some words have been added since they rhyme.

I was emptying my carton which was full of the material and books of first year at TAPMI. Here, we do not have semesters, we have themes... 6 in first year and 4 in the second year. Each theme has a name and purpose. Theme 1 is called Unlearning, the objective of which is to make us 'unlearn' everything we have learned. This makes us more receptive and open to the new methods of teaching.
Oh, lemme cut out the Gyaan (Gassss!!!)... theme 1 is chill... no exams, lot of psychological tests, role plays, group bonding, Accounts classes, book reviews... Hectic classes and less assignments. In one of the classes, the rest of the groupies had to give feedback about each person. It was be written on the same piece of paper and we had the option of not writing our names. I came across the paper and this is what each of my groupies had written. I can call it their first impression since this exercise was performed in the first month at TAPMI:

Aashish: "Good, you are flexible and open minded; but find some time for interactions too. Be a bit more social"

Abhinav: "You are a mature lady and understand yourself very well. Just an advice to be more interactive and mix with others"

Abhishek: "You are an awesome person, inspite of being in your own world... ever thought that some people might want to know you better and there is the whole world to conquer; so why limit yourself to a few people? Maybe some people will waste your time, some people will make a BIG change but you have to give them a chance"

Paddy: "Get your life before life gets you. I can see you are ambitious and have goals decided. Work up and concentrate on them and the rest as I can say, 'Future will be history'"

Priya: "You are focused and hardworking. An excellent team player. A very practical person. Maybe you should socialise more. You are indeed charming"

Rohit: "Try to control your temperament, learn to waste some time"

Shakun: "Type of field you are in, learn to waste some time. Sometimes it is helpful"

Yaser: "You tell people the right things at the right time and are not afraid of it; good. Be creative and share your knowledge from books and experience with others. You will be end being more sure and make new friends. Dont think of marriage already. You should try to socialise more often; it is good for confidence and as a stress buster. Cheers!"

I dont think I want to have this session again... I am afraid of what my groupies will have to say now... ;)

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/howboyishorgirlishareyouquiz/outcome.php

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

1st Oct and 2nd Oct 2006: Two of the most perfect days of my life???

And I didnt even believe in perfection.... Until Now!!!