Hey.... I had a terrible, terrible day and it is still going on.

• I finally finished writing a decent case, but the Prof suggested more changes. Will have to be up tonight and finish it
• My friend ditched me and when I got irritated, he said "stop overreacting"
• My lappie crashed. I might need to get the hard disk replaced which will cost me 3500 bucks and I will lose all my data
• I cannot go home to meet my sis... at best, mom and sis will come here to meet me
• I think my dad is preparing my bio-data and will put it on some crap matrimonial site.

OK, I am going to crib and crib and crib. I wanted to burst into tears when I saw the state my lappie is in. It is my bestest friend in TAPMI... my communication window to the "outside world"... my means of keeping in touch with my best friends... the only reason I love my room so much... it holds my secrets... I cant imagine surviving for a day without it. Sob... Sob...

Latest at TAPMI:

Even though we have 3 days off, nobody can go home for Diwali. Dont ask why... "You are not to ask why, you are to do and die"... I am happy... yes, I am sadistic...

If people go home... 3-4 of us will be left in the hostel on Diwali... we will either watch a movie or they will go for party while I will watch a movie alone... while the rest of the junta gets to spend their Diwali in the comforts of home with their loved ones... while my family will miss me at home and wonder why I could not come.

But then what is worse... not being able to go home 'coz it is 26 hrs away or even though it is 10 hrs away? I think it is the latter... so, I guess I am not happy. Nobody deserves this...

Last year, during Diwali, a party was held at a hotel at Malpe beach. First, we burst crackers on the terrace and then there was a booze party. Since this isnt my idea of Diwali... I sat at the beach and looked at the waves.... It was beautiful, but I was relieved to be back in my room.

I have always been with my family on Diwali... if I could not go home, they would come to the hostel and stay for a day or two. This is how we celebrate Diwali at home:

Diwali begins with cleaning the house. It begins a month earlier. I partake in the cleaning by staying away from it... Mommy's orders. Mommy loves to do things on her own... I think I have inherited that trait. Snacks are prepared... again, I help out... with the eating. A week before, we start lighting diyas. One diya is placed in each room and a few outside. This is usually my responsibility. We purchase the tiklis and rolls. My bro and I burst them all day.... with our feet, hands, on the wall, on the ground. One or 2 days before diwali, we purchase crackers. I love snakes... my dad likes big colorful bombs, mommy likes the sar (I dont know what it is called in english), sis likes rockets, bro likes to fool around and pretend to be brave.

4th day is the New year. In gujarat, new year begins during Diwali. We visit friends' houses. What I like about this day is: you cannot refuse any snack offered... you have to go and meet all your friends and even enemies.

5th day is Bhai Duj. The sister is supposed to invite her bro for lunch at home and he has to gift her something. For me, everyday is bhai duj (except the gift receiving part).... I cook for my bro everyday and he still cribs.

Hmm... I miss home. I just needed a shoulder to cry on and someone to hug.... but well, this distance is killing me. On some rare days, when everything seems to go wrong... thats when you actually realise how lonely you are... how you just need a friend... someone who will sympathise and not laugh it off... there are such people, but they are far far away.

OK, bahut hua. I cannot crib and cry anymore.... I am bored now. A change of mood is required now. I need to thank a few people who have been absolute sweethearts today:

H- Yeah.. yeah... he did listen to my cribbing and crying. Thanks yaar.

T- Major thanks to him. Right now, my lappie is with him and he is trying permutations and combinations to get it in working condition. Even if he does not succeed, I am grateful for the effort he is making. He is a techie and loves his pc... so, I trust him with my lappie... I know he will treat it well.