Thursday, October 19, 2006

I want to crib, crib and crib...
Mom: why havent you called? dont you know pearl is home? u could have called.
me: sorry, mommy... i have a quiz today. I was busy studying yesterday... I was going to call
P: Hi, buzzy lady. Now we need appointment to even talk to you.
Me (almost in tears): C'mon... dont say that... How is home? What are you having for lunch?
P: mom... what are we having for lunch?
Mom: arre... you girls can discuss nonsense later... hang up, she has to go to coll

Yep, she is home and I cannot meet her.
Me: Hi, morning... I want to go home
R: Umm... morning... its morning already? Then go home
Me: i cant
R: Yeah... yeah.. sorry, I am a little woozy this early in the morning. C'mon, baby.... you know you cannot go home. Make alternate plans for diwali...
Me: I hate to be alone for diwali... even you will be gone
R: hmm... you can get drunk and high and enjoy urself
Me: YOU are asking me to drink? No, no... no booze. I will spend money, get high and then cry and I cannot even call you...
R: you can dope... you wont realise a thing for 3 days
Me: are you outta your mind? You are asking me to dope and drink
R: Thats 'coz I know you wont do it. Why dont use crackers to hurt those assholes in your coll?
Me: wow... thats such a good idea. You have started thinking like me... good... good

I have been cribbing all day... I know I cannot go home... but I really really want to... After my sis got married (4 years back) , this is the first the entire family will get together and enjoy. Sure, they will come to meet me... but it is not the same as being home. I am a complete kid when she is around... I become a child and after she left, that part of me has gone. Thats the saddest part when people you love part.... you lose a part of yourself. We are different with different people... I miss myself... and I am craving to find myself, atleast for sometime. The fact that someone else is making the decisions about my life is very frustrating.
Sure, student body and welfare com are making plans for the frustrated souls... but... I am doubtful... very doubtful.