Well... since the junies have come... a lot of "fishing" has been going on. One amazing fact is that the no. of committed people at beginning of year = no. of committed people at the end oy year.. despite all the break-ups and make-ups. What happens is that the committed people (with bf/gf outside B-school) find other bf/gf out here and the no. remains the same. This isnt the rule, just an observation; while single people remain single (mostly).
There are a few junies (committed ones) who are hitting on the senie girls... This is how it goes:

Z: Hey, you were looking very attractive today.
Me: Thanks buddy, but are you sure you have the correct number?
Z: Aah, you are so modest..
Me: Not really... I just know who and what I am
Z: Am I allowed to flirt with the team leader?
Me: Nope, if you were in another team I would get you disqualified
Z: Hehehe... you are sweet and really cute
Me (really irritated now): Ok, buddy.. even if I am the last girl left on this planet, don't flirt with me... I dont like it
Z: C'mon, I am not flirting... I just find you interesting. Your attitude tells me you are single and you are an introvert... and you have a lot of depth
Me (to myself): How does he know that? Is it possible we have a connection? Wait, how can I be this stupid... it is just a line.
Me (to him): Thanks... but whats your zodiac sign?
Z: I am a cancerian... What about you?
Me (freaking out now... I have a bad history with cancerian guys... there has been a pattern with them and I have promised myself I will keep away from them... NO MATTER WHAT!!! )
Me (to Z): I am a gemini... and I kindof figured out you are a cancerian.. the sweet talk and everything makes it obvious.. and I stay away from Cancerians.. so, buddy.. stop the flirting.
Z: C'mon, now you are insulting me. I have an affinity for geminis.
Me (to myself): I am sure you do.
Z: I just want to spend some valuable time with you.
Me: Buddy, by any chance if you are asking me out... I aint interested.
Z: Why not?
Me: Coz I dont have a reason to go out with you
Z: C'mon.... we are friends
Me: Nope... not yet
Z: Your eyes are like a lush green medow... blah.. blah..blah
Me: If that is a poem you want to put up on Srijan... plz mail it across to AAF
Z: That is a tribute to all the fair ladies
Me: then msg it to the "fair ladies"... why are you clogging my cel inbox?
Z: Lady, you are very rude at times and I have no desire to flirt with you. I will not bother you again.
Me (to myself.. relieved): Yippie!!! He better keep his word...

Next day:

Roomie: Hi, guess who is Z's next target?
Me: Want me to name all the 29 senie girls (excluding me) or will you tell me?
Roomie: Me
Me: Best of luck... lady...

Blatant flirting is not cool... especially when you are committed... so, stop making a fool of yourself... that is a genuine plea.

Yep.... I get addicted easily. These days I am addicted to blogging... not writing (I like that...), but reading blogs. During my MIP (Management-in-practice) at Chennai, I started my blog. I came across Abhinav Jain's blog. It is a very popular one for very obvious reasons... I would spend all night reading it. I have read every post to-date. I like blogs which are funny... but sensitive too... there has to be optimism oozing out of them. Last night I came across another blog... Sayesha's blog... and now I am addicted...

Here is a list of few things I have been addicted to in the last one year:

• Hips Don't Lie - Shakira.... I can play it for 7 days and 7 nights continously and not get bored
• Sayesha's blog
• Abhinav's blog
• Whipped cream... once I ordered lemon and iced tea with whipped cream; coz I didnt wanna have coffee... despite the wierd looks by the waiter, I was served that. Turns out, it is a bad combo... the cream turned sour.. :(
• Chocolate cheese cake... this yummy and sinful dessert is available at Cosmo Cafe... I have even dreamed about it
• Page 3... one movie I can watch over n over n over again
• My lappie... I will be lost if something ever happens to it. It holds my memories and my secrets...
• My teddy... when i went home in Oct my Mommy had asked me to bring the teddy along next time so that she could wash it... This time I had taken it to Chennai since I was going home from there.... He has been my best buddie all year... bearing the brunt of my tears and laughter
• Late night calls on my cel...
• Linda Goodman's Love signs... there is a sweet pleasure in match-making...
• Nimbu Paani... I had the most amazing nimbu paani at the bus stand at Pondicherry... I m addicted to it ever since
• Good conversation... I have had such few good conversations in the past one year that I can count them on my fingers...

Let me tell you a secret... I hate to get addicted... and I do everything within my reach to avoid the addiction... but a romantic (at heart) that I am... I always fall for it... big time...

In my first year at TAPMI, my room overlooked the Basket-ball court. Every morning I woke up to the sight of hunks playing with balls… When some celebrities turned up, my window turned into a theatre… All the girls brought popcorn and a sense of humour.
This year (2nd year), I have been shifted to another room. Every morning I wake up to heaven. Below is the view from my window.

My room is one of the most messy ones.... not coz I am not organized, I am... but for short periods. I have these cleaning spells when I clean everything I can lay my hands on... while there are days when my room is littered with dirt. My roomie is accomodating and has no problem living with such a split personality.

In the first year of Engg exams, I was so busy burning the midnight oil, I had no time to do anything else... (thats why never ever procrastinate). I used to sleep on the floor coz my bed was full of books.

This is the scenario at home:

Mommy: Guddu, plz empty your bags and settle your stuff in the cupboard. It is lying all over the house.

Me: Why, Mommy? When I leave home, I will have to pack it in the bags again. I might as well leave them there.

Mommy: This is not your hostel, it is a home and it is my home... so, lady, empty your bags NOW.

Me (afraid): OK, Mommy.

My room: It looks a little clean coz today is one of my cleaning days:

A lot of girls have put up curtains, hangers, doormats etc in their rooms to make them homely and comfortable... but we don't bother. For us this room is temporary and we treat it as such.

Me bored...

I have watched the re-runs of Sex and the City... tried to read "Critical Chain" (good book)... gazed out of the window... counted the no of rotations my fan makes per sec (I don't remember the exact no)... called all the remotely interesting dudes in my life... scrapped all the people I know... in short, done everything unproductive and I am still bored.
We have one class per day... we discuss cases for an hour (that is heights of boredom). I miss my earlier life where I didnt even have time to eat... and now I have so much time that I don't feel like eating. The rains make movement outdoors impossible... not that I hate rains... I just love them.
Yesterday I went to one of my fav places at Manipal. It holds memories of the few very good conversations I have ever had. It is sad that some part of the land has been cleared for construction.
Anyway, I better go to college and read up on something useful... wasting time like this aint gonna help me get placed...

I want to dedicate this post to one of my (many) best friends, Jiny. When we met 5 yrs back, I found her a little wierd. Actually, the feeling was mutual (yep, I am wierd). Anyway, since we were in the same college and the same hostel... we got talking. The conversation began at 9 pm and lasted till 6 am the next day. We have been damn good friends ever since. She has given me one of my fav nicknames, Sunshine. I dont know what I did to earn it... but it has stuck (only between the two of us). We have had our share of ups and downs... but our friendship has survived it all. There is sooo much to say about her... but words will not do justic to my feelings; so, I shall stop.
I am a senior now and it feels different. I feel wiser (dont take it seriously, it is just a feeling). After leaving TAPMI, Amreetha had scrapped me saying; "Enjoy the college while it is deserted. When you return, there will be strangers milling around". Oh!!! How right she was. As of yet, the juniors are strangers; but I am getting familiar with them.
At times, I feel like our seniors will walk through the doors any moment now. I cant believe they are gone. There will be Vinayak strumming on his guitar (while I beg him to sing for me), SPR with his broken body (last spotted with a broken nose), Arun rushing to meet Riya, Shake commenting on the 'non-existent' guys in my life, Hisham trying to ruin my hair (hated that), APC with his wicked grin.
Well, life moves on....

Cute-O-Meter

Life is chill pill, uncomplicated, dull and boring. My cute-o-meter is damaged. Cute-o-meter is a device in my mind (not heart.. I dont have one) which goes "beep" everytime someone cute and hot passes by. Since I have been home, the meter has stopped working. I dont know whether it is the post-chennai effect or meeting the indifferent ex- effect. It has not beeped even once in the last 4 months, which is wierd (considering me) . I do not think there is a dearth of cute people because my friends are going crazy with all their meters' beeping. Well, I guess it is better this way.

I have a friend who calls me once in a blue moon and updates me on himself... not the details, just how is feeling and how life is treating him. Today he asked me; "Are you happy?" Am I happy? Yes, I am. For once in my life I can say I am happy and contented. I cant give a reason or pinpoint one event or person responsible for it. All I can say is that when I go to bed at night, I know my day has been productive and well-lived. Yes, I am happy and if someone is actually doubting their state of happiness then he/she is not happy. One thing I have realised, happiness is an internal state of mind. An external factor cannot be a reason for happiness.. for joy yes, but not for happiness.

B'days

My b'day is on 11th June and I am pretty wierd when it comes to b'days. I like it to be perfect... not perfect as in elaborate celebrations but perfect as in having ONLY people I care about around. My parents stopped giving a b'day party when I moved to a hostel (I was in the 2nd std). Since we never had summer vacations (Mt. Abu is too cold in winters to inhabit, we had winter vacations), I celebrated them in school. I would distribute sweets and that was about it. There was no concept of gifts and anything. If ever I was home, my mom would bake a cake and prepare a good meal. All my friends were too far away to come home for just a b'day.

Last year was one of the best b'days I have ever had... mainly 'coz I was joining TAPMI... so, there was a sense of nostalgia. I am very particular about the people I spend my day with. Only my best friends were invited and they brought me gifts from the list I had given them (I am particular about the gifts too... I hate it when someone gifts something without a thought... its the thought that ultimately matters).

I spent my b'day on the train this year. But I reached home before midnight, so it was ok. Today I treated my friends and actually celebrated it. The conversation at dinner obviously centered around me; but it was basically stupid jokes which kept flying about.

People here think I have changed. They are right, I have. But I cannot explain what has changed. That is too personal. A part of me is lost, and I am glad. It has brought more pain than joy... naah, it did bring joy and confidence. Maybe I am left with heart break and arrogance now... as long as there is no loneliness and no hope.

Hope deceives.

I wonder if I am compromising. Is compromise so bad? Don't all of us have to compromise at some point or other? Is love over-rated? Love is blind and obssessive. It brings you to unimaginable (lower) levels. I'd rather be with someone I am not obssessed with but I genuinely respect.

I am 23. Girls at 23 face a big dilemma. In the earlier days, by 23 girls were married off and it worked fine. But now they have a career. They are looking for a serious relationship but not marriage. I mean, commitment has to be there... but marriage will come later. Guys younger than 23 only want to get laid. Guys around 23 just want to have relationships but cannot think of marriage, while guys around 25 are so desperate they are looking for gharelu girls for marriage. This sounds like some column from 'Sex and the City'.

Yawn!!! We have 'interaction session' with the juniors... hope it is not anything like what we went through. I wonder why I kept in under wraps instead of telling everyone exactly what we were made to do.