Sunday, October 22, 2006

A lot of my guy friends complain...
"You girls only want to take advantage of guys and bitch about them. We do have feelings... but you only walk all over them. We chase and chase and do everything a woman could ever want and yet, it is not enough. What do women want?"

Hmm... What do women want? I dont know... I really dont know. Let me explain:

Men fall in love faster than women and they get out of it faster... For a man, when it is over... it is over... but for a woman, nothing is ever over... Men walk out of a relationship based on reasons like: career, family, distance. And then they dont look back. I am not bitching about men. Thats the way they are... and now (after personal experience and others experience), women have accepted that men are like that and there is nothing we can do about it.
This is how it usually goes:

Guy looks at a pretty female... and falls in love. After that, his day begins and ends with her thoughts. He would willingly give up his life for one look from her. Friends, family, career, gym.. everything is out of the picture. She is the center of his universe. He will do anything, absolutely anything to impress her, to make her life easier... to get noticed.
Girl knows what he is feeling... she can see it and she loves the attention. But she is pretending not to notice.... not because of her ego or anything.... but she is weighing him all the time. Will he be able to fulfill her needs? How long is his attention span going to last? If she reciprocates, will he lose interest? Answering all these questions need time and careful observation. She takes her own time... Finally, when she is as sure as she can be... she reciprocates.
Guy is happy... cannot believe his fortune. He worships her all the more now. Everything is perfect.
Girl starts opening up to him... being herself. She can show her dark side... her real self. Her life revolves around him... everything about him is perfect.
Life goes on smoothly... Guy starts seeing her faults, but that is ok. He isnt perfect either. But he knows he has floored her, she is impressed with him and completely in love... and it is great. But what next? Where do they go from here? The chase is over... now what should he do? He had never thought about the relationship part while chasing her. He only wanted her, and now he has her... but what is he supposed to do with her now?
Everything goes downhill from here. He wants space... she wants to get closer. He doesnt have time for a relationship anymore... and he walks out... just like that.... one fine day. Excuses could be anything. Maybe he has a genuine family issue and it will never work out.
The girl is left wondering how someone who you love so much can just walk out... What happened? Who went wrong?
Its not over yet... after all this, the guy insists on being friends like nothing happened.
The girl wants to murder him for this. How is she expected to forget the pain and all the moments spent with him? Wont he be reminded of them everytime he looks at her or talks to her? She cries and mops around... Since she is the victim, everyone sympathises with her.
The guy is wondering why she is creating such a hue and cry. He has his own reasons. He loves her too and it is hard for him too. Just because he does not start crying at the drop of a hat, does not mean he has no feelings.

See, how different men and women are? The only option is to accept them the way they are. I dont have any answer as to how to keep men interested... or even if it is worth it. My advice is:

Take the leap, but dont lose your head. If you lose your head, dont cry if he leaves. If you cry, there are lesser chances he will come back. If he does not come back, be grateful... If he does, forgive him.