It is 4.28 am and no, I have not woken up early to study or to exercise... I have been up all night. I was watching Satta and then "Love Actually". The best time to watch romantic crap is after 2 am... In the normal daylight I wouldnt have enjoyed the movie so much.
When was the last time you told someone "I love you". The 3 little words which can send a shiver down anyone's spine... which can make someone's life. I dont want to talk about what happens when the love is not reciprocated. People reserve these words for their sweethearts only and I wonder why. Why are we not more articulate? When was the last time you said it to your family or friends or even the friendly dog? Why are we so stingy with the words? I guess we want to say it to someone who truly understands what it means.
I dont understand why romance is shown to be everlasting? Why does the female/male stick around for the first love? Why not move on? Why not fall in love again and again and again till it finally works out? Why not take more chances and risks with your heart?
I loved Hugh Grant in the movie... he is soooo cute... he makes me want to fall in love all over again. And I love movies with happy endings...because thats what life is like. We may not get what we want, but we get what is best for us. Atleast thats what I believe...
Anyway, it is 4:40 am now and I better turn in. I have made lime juice for my friend S who is as jobless as I am... If only he could come over and have it...
Me: Hiya, I am making lime juice... want some?
S: Sure... but with some salt and pepper and 2 ice cubes
Me: Want some rum too?
S: Cool... shaken not stirred
Me: Here goes... taste it.. cheers!!!
S: Yum!!!

PS: That was included for lack of something to write about...

I have a friend called Mr. Monosyllables... He always answers in monosyllables and then he complains that I ask too many questions:

Me: Hi, How are you?
Bug: Fine
Me: How are studies?
Bug: Good
Me: How is work?
Bug: Fun
Me: Made any friends?
Bug: Yup
Me: How is everthing at home? How is ur sis?
Bug: Nice
Me: Do u like it in USA?
Bug: Yep
Me: what else?
Bug: you tell me
Me: Ok, Mr.Monosyllables... I have run out of questions
Bug: Ok... heeheeheehee

See how frustrating it is? The monosyllables... not the questions, you fool. Chalo then... Good night or should I say good morning?

I just received the news that my sis, who I have not seen in the last 4 years, has finally decided to pay us mortals a visit. She is living in the Big Apple and has a pretty happening life... First things first, I mailed her a list of things I need (which encompasses everything I can dream of). She just had one condition :
"You have to come all the way home to meet me, even if it is for a day"
Umm... My home is 24 hrs away by train and I cant afford airfare. I was checking out the holidays and guess what, 21-23 Oct are holidays... My happiness had no bounds.
With a spring in my step, I went to the PGP Chairman for permission to go home (we need permission if we want to step out of Manipal)

Me: Excuse me Sir, I request you to permit to go home during Diwali
Him: Go on, I am listening
Me (very nervous): My long lost sis is coming from the USA... I have not seen her in 4 yrs and we do have hols from 21-23 Oct
Him: Hols? You have hols? Show me the schedule. Hols for Diwali? Since when did TAPMI declare a holiday for Diwali?
Me (showing the holiday list)
Him: Oh that... that holiday is only for the employees... the Director does not have hols, PGP Chairman does not have hols... Hostel wardens do not have hols... students do not have hols. We are all on-call 24 hrs. I understand it is an emotional decision... you want to meet your sis, but we will have classes even on Diwali.
Me: Sir, what if I do not have classes? What if I am free? Can I go then?
Him: Hmm... you will have to check the schedule once it is available... and anyway, there will always be group work if there are no classes. If you leave then, it will be dereliction of duty. See, I do understand. When I was working, I could not attend my sister's engagement... She is still angry with me and has come to my house only once... that also for one day only. But what could I do, on one hand was the engagement.. on the other hand, there were 700 people depending on me. I chose the latter.
Me: Thank you Sir... I will check the schedule and get back to you...

It got me thinking... How professional should we be? Where do we draw the line? Work or family? Head or heart? When I was in my 11th and 12th std... I had given up everything and everyone... I stopped going out, hanging out with friends, stopped making friends... my studies came before everyone... all the distractions were discarded.... Nobody forced me to do it... It was a conscious decision. I wanted good grades and I let nothing come in the way. I met my best friend Monica just once in the 2 yrs even though we were in the same city... My parents and siblings put my need first since they didnt want to inconvenience me... I wanted to be a Doctor, just like my Dad...

When I started preparation for CAT, I wouldnt let anybody disturb me... Friends and family were again put on the back burner...

Now at TAPMI, I am wondering if all my life I will have to put relationships on the back burner... will I have to give up the heart for the head? Will my family (when I have one) end up complaining that I never give them time? There are a lot of times, when friends ask me for time and I cant be there becasue I have to work... Will be end up as the over-worked Manager who is too busy to be with her family? I love working... I really do... but...

I am afraid my head will rule over heart because I am scared of losing control over my life...
I am afraid I will not let go because I am scared of what I cannot see...
I am afraid history will repeat itself because I am scared to learn the lessons...
I am afraid I have lost a part of me because I have been fool hardy...
I am afraid I have lesser things to say because I am scared of what others will think of me...
I am afraid I have lost the ability to love because the heartbreak has scarred me so...
I am afraid I will not be fair to you because everyday I question what I am doing...
I am afraid... just afraid and hoping and praying you will help me drive away the fear...

I have been tagged (Yippie!!!), by the Guru himself (again!!!). Since I feel upto it, here goes:

What according to you, is a blog?
A lot of people (who are clueless about blogging) ask me that... Blogs are personal diaries, but the twist is that anyone can read it. It is more fun that way... whats the point of writing something if I cannot share it? Why write it at all? I will never read it again. It is better off in my mind if I nobody will read it... right?

How did you come to know about blogging?
Sphinx has this wierd habit of messaging his blog address to all his friends on yahoo mssngr. His was the first blog I had read... then Bug asked me to start one of my own... He has been inactive after just 3 posts...

How far it has changed your perception?
A lot... I get to read other people's experiences and even comment on them. I try and answer every comment... they make me think.

Are you true to yourself while blogging ?
I am kinda true... sure, I exaggerate... and try it make it funny at times... but all in all, my blog correctly represents me.

Any blog you wish to be the author of and why?
Boogerworm, of course.... coz I love me.

What it has preached you?
Be yourself... thats the most difficult and the bravest thing to do!!!

Two of your fav. Blogs? And why?
I am not going to play favourites... the blogs I like are on the sidebar.

One of your fav. Post by a fellow blogger?
I dont have a personal fav.... There are some which really touch my heart...

One of your fav. Post by yourself?
The one on my name "Bulbul".. a lot of people have loved it...

Any Blog friends ! Who are they and why?
Most of the people on the sidebar are friends... and the rest feel like friends since I know so much about them

If provided opportunity would you like to meet a fellow blogger? Who? and why?
The ones I have not met who are on the sidebar... Sayesha, Abhinav, Aalekh (met him only once), Vaibhav, Virdi, Zeenat, Pangu, Harini.

Name a blogger, who comments regularly in each post of yours?
Artee, Tanuj, Vaibhav, Pangu..

A blog, where you comment regularly?
I try and comment on all the blogs in the sidebar.

How does it feel to be called as a blogger?
Damn good yaar...


Everyone who reads this post is tagged....

I am back at Manipal.... my time at B'glore has been the greatest. I loved the freedom, friends, place... most of it. Here are a few things I observed:

• The weather is always always good.
• The auto walas are more clueless than the residents. If you ask them to take you to "Sukh Sagar", you will reach "Shanti Sagar". If you are looking for St. John's college, they will make sure you reach Christ College.
• The residents are clueless not just about their neighbours but also buildings in the vicinity
• Women on buses are very helpful and always ready to give correct directions (to be on the safe side, I never ask men for directions)
• Window shopping is the best exercise ever (A1 and I walked down M G Road for 4 hours... we know every lane and most of the shops there)
• Meeting old friends and acquaintances is the biggest motivation ever (I met my best friend Jiny and acquaintance from school Bethany... we are good friends now....)
• Even shady eating places are unaffordable at B'glore
• And as Ritu warned me about B'glore: "beware of lecherous men who don't stare but attack...always carry self defence is my advice to those new in bangalore...later it settles down"... very true. I have not been groped so often even in the 6 years of my stay in A'Bad.
• The fine for various traffic related offences are put up at almost all traffic signals... transparency???
• Hindi music is played on the buses.... damn cool, na?

Since I was a kid, people told me I am different. I hated that word. I always wanted to be part of the crowd... but that never happened. I never took it as a compliment. Now I have learned to live with it. When I met my school friend, I realised how alike we are... same views, same aspirations, same uncompromising independent streak... I didnt feel alone. I know why I am who I am... I am a Sophian... I was brought up that way... I was taught to believe that I am as good as anybody else... that nothing is impossible... that if I put my mind and heart into something, I can achieve it...

It feels good to be back.... I have been cleaning everything that has dared cross my path... clothes, shoes, bags, window screens, table cover, table, chair, bed, room.... So, stay away from me today.. warna... Dho daloongi!!!

Last night I messaged my friends: I am on the bus to Manipal... Yippie!!!

One of my friends called to ask me: Ajib ladki hai... jaate waqt bhi yippie, aate waqt bhi yippie. I thought you liked B'glore

Me: I love B'glore... but I am happy to be back... I miss Manipal... it is like second home now.

Travelling alone is a big no-no at home... so, when mom got to know (through me, of course) I came alone last night, this is how it went:

Mom: Why did you come earlier?

Me: Kaam was almost over and I have a submission on Monday... and the longer I stay the more it costs... so, I left last night

Mom: You travelled alone? Where were your other friends?

Me: They will be back on Monday morning... they are staying with relatives, na. Why are you worrying? I am back safe and sound.

Mom: Obviously, I will worry. We dont know where you were staying, with who you were travelling... We didnt even have their home phone nos.

Me: But Mom, neither Jiny nor Beth have phone at home. And I do have a cel.

Mom: If you were lying dead, who would answer your phone?

Me: Umm... I am back... why are you worrying? I am ok. So, wats new?

(Phew... close escape.... I did not do anything naughty at B'glore... I was back home max by 9 pm... I didnt hang out at pubs... was decently clad at all times... didnt smoke or dope or booze... stayed with girls... but Mommy ko kaun samjhaye???)

Today I am missing someone I have become so used to in the past 2 months... Life aint that gr8 when you aint online... "Please be back soon"

Dear Friends,

Nodal agency for Mentallyill (NAMI) is organisng a walk to commomerate mental health week in the month of october.

Date of walk 8th october(sunday) at Bangalore.

Starting point Lalbagh main gate at hosur road

Time 9.A.M

Finish point Open garden in front of NIMHANS HOSPITAL BLDG.

Address by
DR.NAGARAJ,
VICE CHANCELLOR OF NIMHANS

Walk is to highlight the following demands.
1.ESTABLISHMENT OF NIMHANS LIKE HOSPITAL IN EVERY STATE
2.REMOVE STIGMA THROUGH SILVER RIBBON CAMPAIGN.
3.INCLUDE DISABLED DUE MENTALILLNESS IN NATIONAL TRUST ACT 1998.
4.INCLUDE DISABILITY DUE MENTALILLNESS IN RCI ACT 1992.
5.RESERVATION IN JOBS FOR PSYCHOSOCIAL DISABLED IN PWDEA ACT 1995.

Sponsors are welcome.Please join in large numbers and support psychosocial disabled as well as their careers.

For purchase of tickets for the walk, mail me at bulbulgopalani@gmail.com
Participants will be awarded certificates by NAMI.

Hiya.... I am in B'glore and I love love love love it.... The convo below will giva ya an idea:

DAY 1:
Me: I love B'glore. I dont understand why you keep cribbing. I mean, I know my travelling time by the time I reach home will be 3 hrs.. but I like it
APC: Thats because you have been here for a few hrs only. Try and do it for 2 months and then tell me if you still like it.
Me: You are right, but I think longer commuting time is becoming a part of life for people staying in the metros. There is no point in cribbing about it. And the weather is sooo beautiful.
APC: That is the only good part about this place.
Me: C'mon, all the buildings and cafes are gr8 yaar.
APC: I am not into architecture.
Me: Arre, neither am I. I am talking about the aesthetics.... it is pleasing to the eye.
APC: Have you seen how many guys have given you looks in the last 15 mins?
Me: Really??? Where? Where? Thats my problem. I dont observe. The love of my life could walk by me and I wouldnt notice. My mind is in the clouds.

I met my best friend and her bf.... They make such a cute couple... I have not met a couple so much in love in a long time (touch wood... and I am not superstitious). When people are in love, you can see it in their eyes and on their face... it is a beautiful sight.

I am a sucker for good conversation... I dont care if the person I am talking to is a jerk, as long as I learn something from/her... The conversation doesnt have to lead to another or to friendship.. I may even forget the person, but I will always remember that I had a good convo. I dont date but I converse. I would go out with anyone once just to get to know him/her better.... to see a different perspective to life and people. I am writing this, because I had such conversation after a long time.
I know Aj for sometime now... we have worked together and he is my friend's good friend.... but today we went to the pub and conversed over his pitcher of beer and my glass of lime soda. Now I see him in a different light...

Day 2:
We (Rohit, Joy and me) met the Director of NAMI (Nodal Association for the mentally ill). He is the only one running the NGO at B'glore. His daughter is ill. She was struck with mental illness when she was 12 and now she is 33. Initially, they (her parents) could not believe it... they tried everything: visited religious places, tried every medicine; nothing worked. Then they came to NIMHANS at B'glore. They were educated about mental illness. It is incurable and can only be managed. We visited a day care centre called Chetana where the mentally ill spend their day and are given vocational training. It is also called "Respite centre" since it gives respite to the guardians/parents of the patients. We also visited Asha which is a place where patients can stay for 6-12 months. The director kept informing us about the illness, the problems faced, the dilemma, its effect on him etc. He was worried about what will happen to his daughter after he passes away, who will take care of her. They survive on his pension, he cannot afford to send her to any of the longterm stay centres since they are expensive. He showed us a card in which his daughter had written how much she loves him. I was on the verge of tears. From 9.30 am to 3.30 pm, I only heard about mental illness. At the end of it, I just wanted to break down and cry.
I made the following desperate call to H:
Me: Hi, wats up?
H: Dont ask. I visited the Old Age home at Mysore and it is so bad. They are staying comfortably but how can children treat their parents like this? There have been instances when the kids dont come to claim their parents' bodies.
Me: Hmmm... I have had a bad day too. I had to visit mentall ill patients. Life is so much more than "my ex-bf has a gf and has been lying to me" or "I screwed up the assignment" or "I am broke". How do we even make such a big deal out of these unimportant things? Any of us could be in the place of the father who has been struggling for 21 yrs.
H: hey... hey... hey. If and when it happens to you, you can deal with it. Why worry now? Who says our problems are minor?
Me: Thats the problem... deal with it when it happens... c'mon, how about doing something for others for a change?
H: You can do it when you have earned enough money.
Me: We always postpone what we want to do. It will be too late later.
H: Then you can do it now... I will wait till I am in my 50s.

When I called my mom, this is what she said:
Mom: The more you see the misery, the more miserable you are going to get.

This is what Jiny had to say:
Jiny: Bul, be glad you have been given this opportunity to make a difference.
Me: I am... but... I dont want it to end at the end of these 10 days. It should continue throughout my life. Otherwise, what is the point?
Jiny: That is even better... you could always donate a part of your salary when you start earning.
Me: Yeah, but then only people who can afford it will derive the benefit. For example, if I donate to NAMI... patients whose parents can afford it will get the benefit... what about the ill people on the streets who are abused daily? They need more help. How can I reach out to them?
Jiny: Hmmm.. you have a point. Right now, focus on organizing the walk and creating awareness.

Day 3:

Brain-storming... blogging... brain-storming...

I have been missing my best friends a lot these days... they are all away and apart and I rarely get to speak to them. I miss being there for them. I was wondering what makes them my "best friends"... n I have a lot of them. I dont believe in the concept of one best friend. When I am down and need cheering up, I go to Khushi (yeah, I have not told you but you are one of them)... when i need some good, gentle advice; I go to Raman... when I need a wake up call and in-your-face criticism, I go to Monu... when I need to hear stupid jokes which make me laugh, I go to Bug (now he is in USA.. so, inaccessible)... when I need someone to sweet talk me, I go to Fauntleroy (thats not the only reason I chat with u)... when I need a hug, I go to Honey... n these are only a few of them... there are more... I am in touch with some and not in touch with others.... but they will always occupy a special place in my heart and life... because they are my family...
So, here is a list of things which makes them my "best friends"... the list aint exhaustive...

• They never ever judge me... I have done the worst things in my life... I have been selfish, critical, stupid, careless,disloyal... and yet they never ever categorise me. I am always accepted.
  
• The silences are never uncomfortable with them. I can share silence... I dont have to talk.
  
• I can tell them about the littlest things in my life... they may get bored, but they will listen.
  
• They understand me. The word "understand" is such a cliche. Everyone uses it anywhere. Well, these friends actually understand me... and if they dont, they make sure I make them understand me.
• They never say "I know you".... I hate people who say that... How can anyone know me when I am a mystery to myself.... when I am always changing and doing the unexpected...
• They are not stingy with hugs and sweet words... I am pampered with them.
• They make me laugh... somehow, I can laugh at their stupidest jokes.
• I am honest with them.. yep, no lies... ok, maybe sometimes... but the truth always comes out... it has to... I am a bad liar.
• They are my worst critics... tell me like it is when I need to hear it...
• Fights with them never last... even when we are mad at each other, we know this friendship is never going to break... it is for life.
• I can cry on their shoulder everyday if I want to and they will never get tired or bored with me.
• I have as much priority as their bf/gf in their life... I will never be shirked because of them.
  
• I trust them.. blindly.
  

I guess I have not missed out on anything... I hope not.

Ok.... This post is not for the faint-hearted or for people under 18 yrs. Girly talk at its best (or should I call it worst)... My friends will kill me for this, but I will hazard the risk.
Let me introduce the characters first
Honey: My best friend... the only one who can beat me at jungli-panna... She has broken up with her bf recently and is planning his murder.
SS: I have not met her since 10th std. I met her online after a long, long time today.
This an excerpt from our conversation... and it is uncensored (most of it)...

Honey: Hi, how are you? I m fine... doing architecture
SS: what happened to aeronautical engg? I wanted to do archi soooo bad, but my mom wanted me to be a dentist.
Honey:hehehe yeah fucked that up completely wasted a year and got into archi. basically its five years of complete fun.
SS: i think it is creative... just right for u
Honey: thanks man...but really im not sure i want to practise it
me:i m doing some dumb mba... dont even remember how i got here. I am here for the money. I wanted to be a journalist.
SS: we are all here for the money.
Me: lets stop the sob stories... m getting senti.... sob sob
ss: ritu is a journalist. she is married to her best friend of 8 yrs. she got wat she wanted.
Me: i need a new hot guy best friend
honey: yeah i want a rich guy...so that i can have gud clothes...read books all day... design some crap once in a while and go places
me: me too... me tooo
ss: god, honey that doesnt sound like u
me: that is soooo honey.... greedy and money minded
honey: m not greedy... u r the ugly one
me: no problem... too many pretty people on this planet anyway
ss: stop abusing each other. i m in my final year of bds... will be a dentist soon.
honey: cool... i have 5 shitty teeth. by the way, i have a crush on buls
ss: really? i didnt know i had lesbian friends.
me: honey, cheapo.. leave her alone. it is not a crush.... we are lovers...hehehehhe.
honey: i need u desperately ss.... meet me
me: stop freaking her out... she will run away
ss: oh my god. i m going crazy. wats wrong with ur teeth?
honey: cavity... addicted to chocolates and hate brushing... all because of divya, she destroyed my principles?
me: chill, we are both straight. wat principles? the ones u acquired in 1885? she is yuck... eats without brushing
ss: i am having serious doubts about the 2 of u
honey: divya is married. when i asked her about how her guy is doing... she kept talking about her dog instead. it was hilarious. i so want to get married but guys are assholes.
ss: u r so right. where do u find a decent guy?
me: hmmm.... i smell the scent of my fav topic in the air.... bitching about guys
honey: guys make me feel sick when they start thinking they r gods. trust me they r all the same
me: thats not true... even though i have never come across one... i m hoping there are decent ones out there
ss: but don worry we will find the ones that r not the kind
honey: i dont want to grow old hoping... if there is someone out there he better come fast. im not waiting too long
me: arranged marriage is always an option.... not for me though... i'd rather die alone
honey: no arranged marriage
ss: no way
honey: i' d rather get married to bul... hehehhehe
me: (blush... blush)
ss: wat about me?
honey: u want 3some?
me: we can all get married... it will be like we are back in sophia (our convent boarding all-girls school) again
ss: i am not into marriage.. so its ok
honey: i miss school
ss: me 2
me: me 3
honey: lets meet up somewhere
me: i m going to kerala in march... lets go together
ss: have u been to any discs?
me: nope
honey: she does not know how to enjoy herself.
ss: bul, thats sad
honey: she is too shy to even dance
me: arre yaar, that was a year back... dont care anymore. but i m off parties after a crap incident occured little more than a month back
ss: you have to go with the right company. dont let things like that intimidate you.
honey: yeah, we r living with losers at rajkot and manipal... wat say, bul
me: hmm... true. but this a b-school... guys aint supposed to get this indecent.
ss: hey, noopur is working as an air hostess
me: i wanted to be an air hostess.
ss: ok, i have to go... honey, keep in touch
me: she wont bother... dont believe her
honey: dont believe this fatso...
me: oye, who u calling fatso?
ss: love u guys
honey: yeah... love u too... i like the flesh... now there is more of u to love
me (puking): blush... blush... blush

My life is a "Comedy of Errors" and my dumb intelligence only accentuates it... This is what happened in the past few days:

7th Sept:
I realise I do have some free time (or I can get some time free by avoiding work) and I can watch a movie. I have been receiving the reviews of Munnabhai Lage Raho and was pestering A1 and A2.
Me: C'mon... Munnaibhai... plz plz plz... at AdLabs at Mangalore... just imagine we can be among civilisation (TAPMI does not come under "civilisation"), eat edible food (Mess food is not considered edible), we can get out of Manipal (every offence intended)... plz plz... Can we go?
A1: Yeah, lets do that... I am game. But do you think the movie is worth 100 bucks?
A2: Cant yaar... I have a quiz on Sunday at 2 pm.
Me (crestfallen): Ok... :(
So, I decided to watch it on my lappie. I went to the shop and didnt know the name of the movie (no access to tv, newspapers, outside life... I mean, I do have access... I just dont access it). I saw the poster of "Anthony Kaun hai" with Arshad and Sanjay and assumed this was Munnabhai. With glee and anticipation, I started the movie....

• I didnt find the movie funny at all... but since everyone found it funny, I tried to laugh at all vaguely funny scenes
• I did not realise this is not Munnabhia till I had watched 3/4 of it
• Tanuj told me Vidya Balan looks amazing in it... I kept waiting for her to turn up and when she didnt... I was left wondering if I probably didnt recognize her (that was another actress)
• I kept wondering why Sanjay is calling Arshad "Champ" instead of "circuit" and thought this is part of the plot

Avoid this movie at all costs....

8th Sept:
My group is given 13 questions to work on in our Brand mgmt class... We are alloted less than a day for preparation of the presentation. Since I had to go to Mangalore (have been looking forward to it for days now), A1 has to present it in class. She cribs but then gives in. We work in coll till 11 pm. At 10 pm, Fantasia (a game we play in Distribution mgmt) results are out and I get Jay's results instead of mine. I call the Prof who is nice enough to come to coll and rectify his mistake. I am up till 3 am making an advertisement for Kurlon for brand ppt... I am so proud of it....

9th Sept:
I have to wake up at 5.30 am to complete Fantasia and get dressed in Saree... so, I can leave at 7.25 am for Mangalore... My alarm lets me down (I switched it off in my sleep)... I wake up at 7 am.. finish Fantasia by 7.10 am... and it is 7.35 am by the time I finish bath.... couldnt go to mangalore... attended class and started reading for a class at 3.50... at 2 pm, I realised the class isnt there today.... and so, I slept all day.

The post does not really make sense.... but since I have written it, I will post it

Hi. Life is about moving on, about changing.... A rolling stone gathers no moss. When you become stagnant, life passes you by. Today I have made a decision... a decision to quit AAF. By the time I publish this post, I will have communicated the decision to everyone concerned. I quit because I am stagnating. I have learned everything that I could... there is no more value addition for me. I will miss it.. a lot... but I had joined it for the creative aspects... now, I am mostly dealing with the admin work, organizing meetings, delegating work... I am not a good leader, I have never wanted to be one.... the one who takes the initiative deals with all the flak. There are other activities where I am taking the lead.; but that is because there is still something left to learn. I spoke to my senior before making the decision... he suggested an alternative, he asked me to wait and watch... but I am not a patient person... I am impulsive... most of my decisions are made in seconds and I dont really regret them.
It is time to end the fun and games... specially when I am not enjoying them. It is time to get a bit serious... after all placements are around the corner. I want to concentrate on other things... maybe write a paper or two... I want to make the best use of every opportunity that comes my way and channelise my energy into productive things.
AAF's purpose in my life has been served and it is time for me to let go. I wish I could say it hurts... but it does not. I may miss it (I am not sure). I just feel relieved... I am quite tired... and need a break... so, slowly slowly I am letting go of things in my life which are not important anymore.
I know it is not right to leave things mid way... but I am too practical and selfish to stick around because of principles. My principles change according to the situation.

In our ethics class, one of the groups presented on Bhopal Gas Tragedy. A lot has been written, much has been spoken but little has been done. The images of the dead and ill people were horrifying... so much so that I could not look at them.
I wonder what it feels like to be a victim. Loss of a friend or of physical objects or lack of materialistic pleasures etc are easy to bear.. but what do we do when such tragedy strikes us...when it is not our fault and the offender is let off easily...
I have been having a terrible day. It took every ounce of my will power to attend classes today. And as soon as I stepped into coll, a crisis awaited me. I did not even participate in the Onam celebrations and just wanted to get over with the 6.15 class... which got cancelled and we were informed about it at 6.45 pm. I have been feeling quite shitty.
And then I watched the video on the Bhopal gas tragedy and my troubles seem miniscule. I am just a small entity in this wide world. The world surrounding me is sooo much smaller... as small as a dot compared to the entire world. My troubles are insignificant. What right do I have to feel miserable about my life when there are worse miseries? How can I be arrogant enough to think I am that important?

Nothing and nobody in this world is indispensable.

Bul's Poll

Who looks more scared... the python or me???

Hello... It has been 4 days since my last post... well, I have been busy (thats life at TAPMI). These were my plans for yesterday:

8:00 am: Wake up and get dressed
10.00 - 12.00 : Class
12.00-2.00: Lunch
2.00-4.00 pm: Movie: The Cider House Rules
4.00-6.00 pm: Movie: That Thing you do
6.00-9.00 pm: Movie: Omkara
9.00-10.00 pm: Dinner
10.00-12.00 : Fantasia (Distribution Mgmt)

This is what I ended up doing:

8.45 am: Wake up and get dressed
10-.00-12.00: Class
12.00-1.30: The Cider house rules (watched half of it previous night)
1.30-2.30: That thing you do
2.15 pm: Msg from Tanuj :Plz come to coll max by 2.30... lets wrap up the work by evening
Me: Okie... but I will make it at 3
3.00-8.00 pm: At Systems Lab working on Update
8.30-9.45 pm: Dinner at Food Court with A and A.... since I went straight from coll, I was sweating like a pig (Do pigs sweat???) and was in my jute bag (My baggy jeans... and oversized tee) while they were dressed to kill (kill the guys, not me)
10.00-11.00pm: That thing you do
11.00-12.00: Fantasia (Distribution mgmt)
12.00: Blogging and time pass



I read the book during MIP at Chennai and loved it. The movie has been adapted from the book in an amazing manner (as is obvious from the Oscar). All the actors have done a good job. No tears are shed in the movie and yet I cried a bucketful. The movie does not end the way the book does... I like both endings. The end of the movie potrays that sometimes; "A man's got to do what a man's got to do". Thats life.. compromises have to be made... even if they tear your heart apart. The movie has focused on Homer (Tobey) while the book focuses on Dr.Larch (Caine) and Homer both. The book's end depicts that life is not about black or white... there is a lot of gray.
I have never enjoyed a movie based on a book so much. When I was watching Da Vinci, I got bored because it was like reading the book all over again.... I am partial to Harry Porter and overlooked the faults in the movie. But my friends who have not read the book could not comprehend the movie.
Cider house rules is not like that... even though there is much more in the book, at no point of time did I feel that there was a break or missing parts. One scene blends so well into the next... Kudos to the entire unit which created this masterpiece.

The best thing about this movie are the songs... the fact that "That thing you do" is played atleast 10 times makes it a must-watch... otherwise it is ok... I was jumping (my kindof dancing) everytime it played.... I love movies where people have the guts to follow their dreams... so, what if they dont work out, atleast they dont end up wondering "What if I would have pursued when I had the time?"
Liv Tyler is one of the prettiest women in Hollywood and she has a figure to die for.
Here is a tag for everyone who reads my blog:

Currently Reading:

• Just in time by Taiichi Ohno
• Goal by Eliyahu Goldratt

Playing on my media player:

• Lonely Nights (dont know the artist)
• Kiss me (Sixpence none the richeer)
  

Most recently learned:

• To work on Frontpage

Working on:

• Update
• AAF webpage
• My blog
  
• DTMT assignment

Last eaten:

• Tangy chicken Sandwizza at pizza corner

Last animal spotted:

• A black snake which slithered into the bushes (freaked out... I mean, I freaked out... not the snake)

Latest cute guy spotted:

• Yesterday at the supermarket... I dont like French beards, but this one looked good. I actually loved his eyes... they were clear and honest and he wore specs (I like guys with specs)

Latest argument:

• Near the washing machine... was desperate to wash my clothes

Last person I spoke to on the phone:

• Dad: It is his B'day today

Last person I met:

• A: was begging her to submit my assignment by 9 am... she agreed

Last fought with:

• My best friend... last night... we are paly paly again... :)

Last chatted with on mssngr:

• Jai

Tag ends...

Last night I had an argument with my bestie (he is a guy). He has watched only one episode of Sex and the city and thinks it is crap... he could not comprehend how they could show so much sex. It was like soft porn for him. Now, Sex and the city is like religion (no offence to Sex and the city) for me... Guys only see the sex... What they dont see is:

• It is about 4 single friends and their life. They are in their 30s and Americans... expecting them to be virgins is insanity... of course, sex is going to be a big and important part of their lives... It is about the relationships, the difference between men and women, the loneliness, the insecurity, the lifestyle... look deeper and these will be obvious.
• Samantha is the one who can have sex like a man (no feelings, just passion). She is tough but vulnerable too... does not believe in marriage and hates kids... she is either every man's fantasy or his nightmare (there is no in-between)
• Charlotte is the typical romantic girl with dreams in her eyes. She is looking for the perfect marriage... plays by the rules... (1) No sex on first date (2) No dirty talk (3) No wierd things in bed etc... But she is quite sweet and an eternal optimist, who always always always believes in love... no matter what.
• Carrie is the confused, imperfect soul. She is trying to look for answers and screws up most of the time. I really like the fact that she does not marry Aiden even though he is the perfect guy. She realises that she is looking for the perfect guy for her.... someone who is as imperfect as her, if not more. Arent we all looking for someone like that?
• Miranda is my fav. She is a lawyer, tom boyish, cynical and independent. She does not trust men until she meets Steve. Her cynicism keeps the others from flying off into their dreams. She treasures her friends and never ever dumps them because of work or bf. She can be quite insensitive and tough at times.
  
• Steve is the guy of my dreams... funny, cool, hep, reliable, completes Miranda. He is the optimist and is never bogged down by Miranda's pessimism...
  

Ok, I better sleep now... it is 1.50 am.