Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Hi... I received some bad news the other day and made the following distress call to my support system.

Me: Hi... Dadaji passed away 3 days back. I just got to know. Mom was too busy to inform me. I wasnt really close to him and after dadiji's death a year back, we had been expecting it. I am just sorry for dad. He is not keeping well. After the heart problem, he has become weak... I feel so helpless. I am supposed to be at home right now...
Lolo: But you know you cannot be home... Few more months and then you will be home
Me: But then again I will have to shift to another city for work. I think I should just take up any job I get at A'bad
Lolo: For how long?
Me: I dont know
Lolo: What about when you get married and have to leave home?
Me: I dont know... maybe I can stick around and postpone marriage and all till my brother finishes his studies
Lolo: You think he will stay at home? What if he gets a job in another city? You think your parents will shift?
Me: No, they wont... and we cannot stay at home... What do I do?
Lolo: See, your parents are not that weak. If they can take care of you, they can very well take care of themselves. What you can do is keep in touch. Dont be the reason for their troubles. Be there. You dont have to be around all the time. But try and be there when they need you. Ok? Dont worry... they will be fine. This is one dilemma facing so-called "Modern India". Do you disagree with me?
Me: No, I dont... Makes sense... But...

Is the joint family concept better? What is the solution to this dilemma? What is my responsibility as a daughter towards my parents? What do I do about my guit feeling?