Monday, May 29, 2006

Guys in my life!!!

I am 23 (almost… few more days to go). With all the experience I have had with guys (mostly creeps); I have categorized the guys as follows… as a result of numerous discussions among a particular group of girls in the TAPMI Batch 2007….

1) Diaper despo:

He is around 21 years (maybe less), has had no experience with girls. Yash Chopra and Shahrukh Khan Movies have brain-washed him and he is looking for some Simran in a certain B-School. When he thinks he has found her, her “no” is interpreted as “Keep trying… I like the attention and will probably reciprocate in the next 5 yrs, if not later”. It is difficult to be friends with him because Simran is always on his mind.

Me: I am having such a good time with him. I wish he was not into Simran. He is so committed, even though a little impractical and romantic.

DD: I am having such a good time. If only it was Simran and not this ugly b****. Sigh!!! Just my luck to be stuck with her. Is Simran thinking about me right now? Is it ok to call her 10 times per day or should I increase the frequency, that way I have to wait for 2.5 yrs or more.

2) Mr. Casanova:

He falls for any girl he talks to. He is desperate to have a gf… period. It does not matter who it is… will flirt with anyone with u-know-wat.

Me: Hi, how are you? Where have u been?

C: Hey, beautiful.

Me: umm... u talking to me?

C (trying to grasp my hand): I have been thinking about you… a lot.

Me (trying to remove my hand politely and unsuccessfully): good... good... I have to go. AAF and all, na? Lot of work. Bye.

3) Experienced Despo:

The difference ED and C is that ED doesn’t deign girls important enough to flirt with them. Don’t ask me who is better. He is cool about girls cracking non-veg jokes coz he can embarrass the girls into silence with his more crass ones. He used to be a nice, dedicated guy until some girl broke his heart and now he believes in taking his vengeance from the rest of us.

Me: Hi. Did u hear that one about “tit-for-tat”? Hehehehe!!!

ED: Lady, grow up. I find the one about “beating round the bush” funnier… hehehehe

Me (running away with as much dignity as I can muster)

4) Jhoru meri Gulaam Despo:

My girl shall not talk to guys unless she has to prove she is not dumb. She shall not find anyone except me remotely attractive or I will kill that “anyone”. She shall pretend to have no knowledge about the three letter word around which my life revolves. Her sole aim in life should be to treat a certain B-School as a finishing school and prepare for a future with me.

Me: Hi. Have u seen Simran?

JMGD: umm, she went to the canteen (without me). Can u check out who is sitting with her? I just don’t trust any guy with her. I mean, I don’t trust the guys… I trust her. You know what men are like!!!

5) I-hate-girls-despo:

He hates girls… period!!! I don’t know if he is gay.

6) Non-Existent-Mr. Right:

He is the guy every girl is searching and waiting for. Sometimes, a guy from any of the above categories seems to be NEMR, but Simran is sorely disappointed when she removes his mask. Her hopes of his existence are waning day by day.

Disclaimer: The above categories do not include guys who are committed or have just been dumped... coz the best ones have been taken and we are left with the wierdos.