I am tired... so, so, so tired. Everything is changing and it is difficult for me to keep pace with it. I just want atleast one constant, atleast one thing which will last forever... one thing I can always always rely on. I do get bored easily, very easily... but I am still craving for security... Life is moving too fast for me... and I hate it when I cannot control my life.
Sometimes I wonder if I have become to distrustful. I dont believe a word of what most people say. I expect them to lie, trick me, decieve me... sure, I do have good friends... but a lot of times, my trust has been broken... and I keep expecting it to happen again...
I specially distrust those who sweet talk... I dont believe in connections or coincidences... I dont think people can be nice without a reason. It would be great if it could go like this:

Him: Hi... Since you like it direct, I just want to play around with you. Are you game?
Me: Naah... I am not. I have better things to do... maybe some other time, when I am jobless
Him: yeah, well.. thats ok. I will find someone else. Thanks for not wasting my time.
Me: No problemo...

If only life were that simple.

On my jukebox: Goodbye from Alicia Keys (What a perfect perfect song for a miserable day)

Mhmn bye bye

How do you love someone
That hurts you oh so bad
With intentions good
Was all he ever had

But how do I let go when I've
Loved him for so long and I've
Given him all that I could
Maybe love is a hopeless crime
Giving up what seems your lifetime
What went wrong with something once so good

How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
If your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye

I know now I was naïve
Never knew where this would lead
And I'm not trying to take away
From the good man that he is

But how do I let go when I've
Loved him for so long and I've
Given him all that I could
Was it something wrong that we did
Because others infiltrated
What went wrong with something once so good

How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
If your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye

Is this the end are you sure
How should you know when you've never been here before
It's so hard to just let go
When this is the one and only love I've ever known

So how do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
If your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye



One of my fav fav songs... a voice which peps me up... Ronan Keating, the love of my life.

"I Love It When We Do"

I love it when we do what we [x2]

Ahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa [x3]

When you're around the sun is always shining
And since we met I haven't once stopped smiling
The love I feel for you is almost blinding yeah

I'm running up and down the street
Hugging everyone I meet
Now you love me life is sweet
When I got you in my arms
I can't turn off the fire alarms yeah

I love it when we do what we do

because we do what we do till it's done
I love the way we do what we do

because we do what we do and it's fun

you're the one

When you're around my eyes will never wander
And there ain't no-one else I've ever been more fonder of
So baby don't you break this spell I'm under yeah

When I look into your eyes I don't have to fantasize
You're a dream that's realised
I'm dancing on the moon inside
If life is cruel then someone lied

I love it when we do what we do

because we do what we do till it's done
I love the way we do what we do

because we do what we do and it's fun

you're the one

I dig it when we kiss and we hug and you're cuter than a bug in a rug my love

When you and me
no to end to us
It makes me cry
It makes me trust

repeat chorus [x2]

When you and me
taste so sweet
It makes me cry
It makes me trust